Long Day

I have been working hard today, I promise. It started off with working on my PowerPoint Presentation for my 2nd interview this week. Very excited for that! I got through all the basics of getting set up for a blog on Blogger (I'm teaching them how to do that) , and then I decided to amp up my example blog. There went the afternoon!! CSS, HTML, coding, parameters.... I was definitely in over my head. I finally was able to understand how to use a template and upload it. The new blog I created is a pet project that I've been stewing over for a while. I love the arts and humanities and have often thought it would be fun to post about those topics for the general enrichment of others. However, I don't think readers of my personal blog necessarily want to be bombarded with that all the time; nor do I think readers about arts and humanities want to hear about my personal life drama. So it works out well to put it on another blog, one that isn't exactly associated with me. I have no intention of linking out to my personal blog from the arts/humanities site, but you are all more than welcome to follow this link and hop on over! I hope that if you're interested, you will follow the other blog and get an un-daily dose of culture, arts, humanities, etc. 

** Friends, assuming this other blog takes off, I know many of you are artistic in your own ways and I'd be happy to have you share your voice there as well! Let's educate the world about the arts! 

Gateway to Art : please be aware that the cool stuff on the page is still under construction and hopefully will be less crazy and more awesome very soon. 

PS: did I mention that the post over there  is all about Halloween? 

Good words

Rare
Beautiful
Intelligent
Unique
Spiritual
Amazing

Good words. Words to make one happy, strong, and believe in oneself. It's been an interesting week, but I'm thankful for these good words from a friend who sees me better than I see myself sometimes. 

Thursday Times

What an interesting day. Good moment: I had a great interview with the company InContact for an Education Consultant position. Basically I'd be training people all the time! I have a second interview next week where they get to see me in action, so I'm looking forward to that. Bad moment: super lame rehearsal. Seriously, we sat all too much time tonight. There were also some interesting cuts (?) made that were rough on all the girls except the 12 who got the top spot. It was not very fun. I did not enjoy it. Obviously, I was not one of the blessed 12. Darn favorites. Granted some girls really deserved it from their dancing. Some I think I was just as good as. Oh well. So tonight was a rough venting night for a bit. And I'm excited for Friday!! It will be an exciting day for sure, if for no other reason than it will be better than tonight. 

Happiness not a destination; it's a way of life. 

Whens-day

Basque region of France - grape arbor

I totally borrowed that title idea from a friend of mine on Facebook (we are also friends in real life, but I saw that idea on Facebook). Today was the day when I interviewed for an office manager position in Kaysville. I realized that despite being a "grown-up" of sorts, I still don't think in terms of long-term commitments. Can I see myself sticking around here for three years? Probably. Five years? Whoa buddy, whipping out the big guns! I didn't see myself staying in Centerville for much more than a month... and it has been so long now that I've had to go "shopping" at my storage unit for my winter clothes, coats, etc. Speaking of which, I'm really befuddled as to where my shoes are. I swear I had a trash can filled with shoes. I know I did. The can must be well hidden in the unit, because I couldn't spot it. I was even climbing around on my nightstands to get a better vantage point and visit my stuff. 


Did I mention that sometimes I just miss my stuff and have been known to go to the storage unit just to look at it? Yeah.... It's true. My bed. Oh my beautiful wonderful bed!!! My dresser and nightstands that I built myself. Go IKEA. My bookshelf. My pictures. No idea where those are at.... My books. It's a good thing they are packed or I would spend too much time just looking at them and thinking of reading them. I would like to find where Swann's Way, by Marcel Proust, is at. I never really read the whole thing and I think I'm ready to try it the second time. 


Tomorrow I have an interview as an education consultant for a company in Salt Lake. I should also be hearing back from Granite School District about whether or not my fingerprints cleared for me to be a substitute teacher. I need to follow through on a freelance writing job as well and get them the forms back. Can I just say it? I keep holding out for the real job. That's what I want. But I've also learned that what I want isn't necessarily where I need to be headed. So on this Whens-day I am again working on finding my path in this nice big world!

Best un-edited picture from 2011 Basque region. Even my photographer friend (Fez Alama) said it was good! I will confess, it was partly luck. Mostly luck. But it's still awesome!

It's only Tuesday?

Time is a mysterious thing. It boggles my mind to consider that time only exists for mortals. How does that work on the other side? Does it have something to do with the E=MC2? The speed of light? That we'll be so filled with literal light that time slows down or does its funky time-ness and...... well, I can't really complete what I'm thinking there because I didn't study much about physics. But yes. Time. Is a wheel that keeps on turning, always moving us around (Thanks LeeAnn). 

I can't believe it is only Tuesday. Monday seems rather far away. Maybe because I actually did things yesterday. For example, I went and got fingerprinted so I can be a substitute teacher in Granite School District. Ideal? No. Something to do and get money for? Yes. After that, I visited my sis-in-law Michelle, and her kids. Actually, my brother was there too, but he was home sick from work so... we didn't visit much. His kids are super cute, as is his wife. (He's a lucky guy!!) We had a fun time just talking and playing together. Then I went to WalMart -- I know, but it really is cheap and I'm on a tight budget these days -- and who should I see getting out of the car in front of me, but my Grandma Burgin! I haven't visited with her since before I left this summer. Long story short.... she lives about one street away from my ex and I just couldn't bring myself to get that close to those memories. I'm really glad we saw each other though! It's nice to visit with family, not to mention important. We didn't talk super long since I had to get dinner and go to FHE. It was a Halloween dance and I went as a nerd. And I watched "The Interpreter" after the dance. Fascinating flick. 

Sorry, my iPod doesn't have the greatest camera and I didn't figure out the best way to transfer it to my  computer...

Well, just got the email that I didn't get the Financial Aid Counselor position at the U of U. I guess I'm happy that I don't have to change my colors.... yes, I'm happy that I get to remain true to my BYU colors. I'm going to watch some Dancing With the Stars now. 

Another Monday

It's another Monday. Once again, I'm sitting here at my computer, looking for jobs. Applying for jobs. Doing miscellaneous work related to jobs and job searching. I may or may not be watching "The Office." I have emails to send to prospective openings, calls to wait for from past interviews, and an arguably promising offer to be a substitute teacher at a near (ish) school district. I think of ways I can be an interesting teacher, a dedicated worker in whatever role I take on... yet it is essentially all in my head. 

What am I supposed to be? Where am I supposed to be? Am I becoming what and who I need to be as I go through this seemingly endless period of ... waiting? 

I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned about finding satisfaction with who I am, regardless of outside impulses. It certainly does help that I'm dancing again and have that outlet, but I'm not sure it necessarily makes me happy. I've gotten to the point where rehearsal isn't nearly as thrilling as performing. But in other things I wonder a lot. Satisfied and happy aren't exactly the same thing. I want real happiness. I want to believe that I can have what I've dreamed of, and things I haven't dreamed of too. I want to believe that I will be gainfully employed. I want to believe that the Lord wants me to be as happy as possible. Well, I know that He does. But I want to believe that His way will align with my dreams in some part as well. 

I know one day I will be blessed with what I desire so much. It's a promise. It's a responsibility I have - to share the gospel with my family, especially my children. I am that I might have joy. Satisfaction is fine, but joy is another realm entirely. So I will press on, ever on. Joy surpasses all. Joy can be elusive. When it happens, it is amazing. I believe it is when your body, soul, and the universe all strike that same chord and resonate. Here's how I described that in my personal tour recap, July 24, 2011. 

"I'm so happy we closed with the double shows on Friday! I haven't felt that way dancing for a while... They talk about how music needs a vibrator for sound to resonate through - the feeling/reverberation I felt at moments during those two shows was magical and incredible." 

I believe that feeling is a special kind of joy, saved for special moments. I look forward to feeling it again, especially as my life unravels itself to reveal which path I will be on next. If anyone has a spare prayer, though, feel free to cast it my way for a job.  

 

Swirling leaves

So earlier this year, as summer was first beginning to fade into fall, I decided that this year I would like Fall. It's not that I had anything against it in the past, but I'm not sure that I necessarily loved it. It is amazing what a conscious attitude choice can do! Not only are the fall leaves more beautiful, the weather is fantastic! I do miss my fall-appropriate shoes and scarves (not sure I'm ready for another trip to the storage unit to forage for them...) but hey, that's a minor thing. 

Another quaking aspen picture (unedited)

I also happened to see this fabulous quote this morning. It seems to fit pretty well with the idea of leaves and fall and swirling up. 

Love...roots up the will like a leaf, and sweeps the whole heart into the abyss.

Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)