A Fortnight

A fortnight. I think that's all that's left!! Completely unbelievable. I could go on to say so much here, including how I am becoming obsessed with little babies..... but mostly I'm tired! What a surprise, huh? 

I will add this special moment. I spent several extra minutes tonight just rocking my sleeping Pearl. She's grown up a lot and just keeps learning and changing. I really loved the time I had tonight with just her and me. There was nothing more important tonight than my sweet little girl - just her and me rocking together. It was a precious moment. 

A Hasty Update

Big news: I fit into my old Buckle jeans again!! It's taken a long time for my body to fully rebound back, but I tried them on yesterday on a whim and was so happily surprised. Sure, I could have worked out harder earlier on and probably arrived at this happy place sooner, but I didn't and I don't regret it. That said, it feels AMAZING to know your old body is (more or less) finally back.

The cutest girl in the whole wide world is amazing me daily, it seems. In the past two weeks she has learned to clap and wave, she gives kisses if you prompt her and offer a cheek, she adores standing up, and she has done a legit army crawl at least 3 times! She is such a joy to me. She also babbles more and more, tries to copy sounds or simple actions I do, loves the water and bathtime, and has finally figured out that human food is pretty good too. She eats rather well when I remember to make a point of feeding her my food (sometimes nursing is so convenient I forget that I need to offer her bits and pieces of food!). She even tried a taste of spicy chicken tikka masala the other day and was totally cool with it! Yesterday she had potatoes, some bits of brussels sprouts, and some tastes of a bacon-wrapped filet mignon.

I truly enjoy spending my days with her. I had someone offer recently to watch her a few hours each week so I could have some "me" time, and my thoughts were 1) so generous 2) pretty sure I'd miss having my girl around, and 3) I don't really have much to do in "me" time because I love doing things with her! We recently worked the Miss America pageant, and while that was tough with a baby, I look back on it and again realize that it was more fun for me because I had her there. Being a mom suits me in ways I never would have guessed. It's a happy - if highly demanding and at times stressful - occupation.

And in funny stories - poopocalypse!! Elsie tends to have these every now and then. Usually when I make the mistake of putting her in her jumpy bouncer when she's due for a poo. THE MESS!!!! I've gotten more observant so she doesn't usually jump her poo out of her diaper anymore, but yesterday takes the cake of poopocalypses. She was napping after church in her car seat. And sometime between when we dropped her off in there and heard her crying awake, she had let the BIG ONE go. I'm so thankful D was still around to help me get things cleaned. And I'm grateful that the Oxyclean seems to have finally worked its magic on her seat straps, because as of last night, it was still pretty sketchy. Poor little gal had a rough awakening with that one!! Moms, beware the stinky toot days and guard against your poopocalypse. It's not nearly as bad when you're expecting it and preparing to catch it the moment it exits.

... and I am now (have been for months now) officially one of the moms who takes great pleasure in discussing bowel movements. Cheerio!

Adulting

Okay, I use the phrase occasionally, but I've been thinking on it recently. When did becoming an adult turn into a thing we don't want to do? Something almost negative or not intrinsic to our growing up? 

Our culture these days (in the USA at least) focuses so much on the individual and self and feelings about yourself that it seems a whole generation is becoming perpetual Peter Pans. Even as we grow up and make adult milestones, we refuse to admit we are real adults, instead defaulting to - what? Adulting? Kids pretending to be adults for a few tasks and then reverting to a less mature self? Sure seems like it. 

Being and adult used to be something we aspired to. Turning 18 and 21, gaining our independence and freedom... Well we have it now. Is this generation really so avoidant of responsibilities that come with age? 

More people have dogs than kids. Call me old fashioned, but a dog is a pet. A kid is your child. I also think we should focus on families and not fulfilling all our dreams and wishes for years and decades on end. Adding a spouse and kids makes my dreams fulfillment even more enjoyable and rewarding. (I understand many struggle to have kids, but this isn't about them. It's about the ones who want to spend their time and money just on making themselves happy.) 

I think we need more people who will step and be real adults, not just fake at it every now and then pat themselves on the back for Adulting for a few hours. A big bunch of whiny selfish kids faking as adults makes for a scary future. 

Wiggle worm

My girl is such a wiggler! It's not very often anymore that she'll fall asleep on me after her feeding. I miss it. She did it tonight though, and it feels so wonderful. 

Babyless

I spent ten years in Utah - no surprise then that most of my friends live there still. And I guess a lot of them have family that lives there too. Utah does that: keeps people there and close to family. I miss that aspect of it. (And the proximity of the mountains. Definitely miss that.) 

If I lived in Utah, in sure I would have gone on a babyless date by now. Heck, maybe even had the chance to leave everyone and just go do something for myself. 

But I don't. 

And I haven't. 

And I don't see it happening anytime soon. 

(And that's mostly okay, but right now I'm not so thrilled about it.)

Postpartum body

I don't want to say much on this. My body made another human being - and a super cute one at that! I was pretty okay with how I grew. I was definitely on the small side with how I carried her, plus I didn't gain lots of extra weight beyond the recommendations. 

Now baby is out and it's been a bit more of an adjustment. It could be the long recovery from surgery. It really did take almost six weeks before I felt like I could walk at my normal pace. It also left a scar - which isn't so bad, but how the muscles and skin sit around the scar bothers me sometimes. 

I fit into some of my old "fat" jeans! So I'm happy to be back to one of my old bodies, even if it wasn't my smallest or most favorite. I'm still fluffy even though I can button said pants. 

This week I've started working out! It's fun to sweat and move my body. I'm thrilled that I feel good enough to exercise and motivated to do so. I'm trying to remember to be patient with myself and focus on what matters most - my beautiful girl. I'm happy to sacrifice for her. And I'm happy to be able to balance both our needs. 

Grandma B

Not sure if I've made note of this, but Grandma B passed away suddenly in September. I do miss her. 

Today is her birthday! I never realized that she was born on the first day of spring, but how fitting. She loved nature and being close to the earth. She took pictures of lovely sunsets, kept flowers and a garden, and often talked of sleeping under the stars in her backyard. 

I want my kids to know that about their great grandma. Plus she introduced me to some fantastic literature. 

Stake conference

The stake president spoke briefly about the music of the gospel - how the way we live our lives can be evidence of the gospel acting within us. He mentioned many types of people as quiet examples of this - the woman with cancer who fed the presidency between meetings, the scout leader who prepares a lesson for his son each week. And then, in what I'm pretty positive was a nod to us, he mentioned the new parents who don't get much sleep. 

I had already been in and out with Elsie at least twice. For the cumulative hour I was able to sit and listen, I probably yawned about ten times. And then Dave took her out too to help her fall asleep. He was just walking in when President Watterson made the comment. I appreciated his words. It seems to me a recognition that of all the places we could be right then, both of us wanted to hear the words of the adult session of conference and brought Elsie along, no matter how much up and down, in and out that meant. 

She's usually quite easy for us but tonight was a bit harder and in public. But I'm glad we were there. I'm thankful for the music of the gospel in our little family. 

Pregnancy

It's a lot harder growing a baby than I ever imagined. Some have it pretty easy. Some have it way hard. I definitely fall in the middle ground and probably towards the easy side, but I'm still surprised some days (weeks). Aside from the physical changes and limitations, there are the occasional emotional flare ups, which generally just add to the physical wear and tear of a day. It looks far more glamorous in blogs and on Instagram than it feels in real life. 

That said, I had a moment today where I could feel where baby was leaning in me. I of course touched around to see if she would kick or move in response to me. She didn't, but at that moment it seemed as though I could see her inside me, a very real little girl who is part of our family. I cried. Mostly from fear that I won't be the mother she deserves. But also for the wonder of this new person coming to earth. It was a hint of motherly love. I guess I'm really growing up now. 

That guy I married that one time...

I love him. 

Thankful Tuesday

Today I am thankful for 7Up, soft bath mats, and modern technology. My hubby has been thankful that I know how to cook, but I managed to backfire that for myself last night. Maybe it was a bad tomato? He doesn't eat those, so it could have been that. Who knows! I guess I'm also thankful that I am at my fighting weight now, with no extra gym effort! ;)

Giving thanks #1

I think I will blog my thankfuls this November. I'm doing a bit less on social media like Facebook these days, as some groups in the world would target not just defenders of freedom, but their families too. I do love sharing, though, so I will probably make this my main space to share pictures and stories. Anyways...

Today I am thankful for my husband!! I know, I should save that for a day when I can't think what I'm thankful for, but we just had such a wonderful day together and I've been thinking how thankful I am for him basically all day. He is a 100% support in our marriage, always by my side - and usually literally by my side!! From the spouse information session this morning, to grocery shopping on his turf, to driving and eating and driving, to stake conference and all the meetings, he is there. 

We laugh. We smile. We eat mac and cheese in our flannel pants while watching movies. And we kiss a lot. I love my number one blessing - my Rollo!!

Happy Two Months!

Has it only been two months? It seems both longer and shorter. The great news this month is that I have wedding pictures!!! I've had so much fun looking at them... I'll let them speak for themselves. 

At least one of us was ready to get married....

Our beautiful venue, Le Jardin

Cute nieces as flower girls

Button, button, who's got the button?

Mom always knows best

The cuteness!

Handsome boys! Someone coached Carson really well, it looks like :)

We're married!! Cue the Hallelujah chorus!

Our dear family and friends

Tyler: It's tough being almost 2 

My cute nieces and nephews!!

Grandparents with their grandkids

My beautiful mother

My handsome father

My four brothers - a rose between the thorns? That, or some seriously awesome bodyguards. I'm the luckiest girl to have these brothers watching out for me!

Sweet Tyler

The Burgin Family

The Smith Family and friends 

The Smith Family

Kids are the best!

Possibly the best bouquet shot I've ever seen captured on film! 

True love 

Pennsylvania Apples

Last weekend, Dave and I drove up to Baltimore to spend some time with Jenelle and Jeff before General Conference. I love having a few friends out here that are close enough to visit on the weekends or the occasional day off. Jenelle and I had time to take a short(ish) walk together and it was so soul-soothing to have that connection and just be who I always have been. Navigating marriage and a new city and looking for a new job and fitting into a new ward.... there's so many new things going on that it is truly precious to spend some time with a friend who has known me for ten years, through all sorts of other "new" phases. Those twenty minutes were probably some of the most precious for me. However, Jenelle and Jeff are awesome at finding cool local events to attend! So early on Saturday morning, we hopped in the car and drove off for Gettysburg - and the local apple festival in the next town over.

Making cider with an antique engine. You could smell how sweet the apples were! It only took about 5-10 mins for them to get apples through the cutter/chopper thing, then pressed into the white bucket and strained twice before being poured into half-gallons. 

Apple pancakes for breakfast!

The shyest little apple-worm you ever did see.

Aww, look at all of us having a blast

Miniature horses in the petting barn

A nifty steam engine hooked up to an old-fashioned shingle-making machine

The apple orchards

Being silly in the orchard - I'm pretty sure Dave was smiling 

The Smith Family

Dave sometimes talks during picture time

Jenelle made a joke about us being newlyweds and all over each other, hence we had to ham it up and create some lovely photographic proof of such! You can't see it, but he started the funny kissing and trying to eat my face. Sadly, I'm the only one that looks truly strange. 

We eventually got a kiss in, despite our silliness

Obligatory jumping picture!!

David Rollo Smith and Erica Burgin (Smith)

Wow!! Let's just pause for a moment and recognize that this is my last full week at work before my wedding!!! I can't believe this day is almost here. Even now, it is a little surreal. But I am so confident and excited and ready to take this next step with Dave. 

I get to look at this announcement every day - at my work cubicle and at home on my fridge! What an excellent man.... I love him. In 8 days I will give him the biggest hug ever! Let's get married, Dave. I love you. 

Luuuvvv, trwweewww lluuuuuuuuv

My Dave is incredible. So wise! So handsome! So strong! He is honestly better than my dream guy. I never dreamed big enough... didn't really think such a perfect-for-me man could exist! His strengths balance my imperfections. We become a pair of grinning idiots together because seeing him makes me smile, and him seeing me makes him smile, so I smile more so he smiles more so I.... well, you get the idea. He knows when to hold me and when to offer suggestions. He sacrifices one of his most precious resources - sleep - so we can Skype. There's so many dreams and futures, and wedding plans, to discuss that we often run past our 8pm/10pm curfew. 

Can I just mention how excited I am to be in the same time-zone, state, city, and HOUSE as my love in just 23 days!??

Can I also mention how it all still seems a bit surreal? Was it like that for anyone else?

In honor of this week's afternoon thunderstorms, here's a pic of Dave and I on our London/Scotland adventures. It's the first of many trips we will share together!

Bless Dave's sun-sensitive eyes :)

Busy times

Life is super busy right now! 

We didn't really send these out, since invites are coming super soon.

I'm so excited to be marrying my best friend. Sometimes it's a little crazy to think how quickly and smoothly everything has happened, but when the timing is right, things just work. I love Dave and can't wait to be with him again - for now through eternity!