Of course, this wasn't my outfit tonight, but I still should have come away with a different feeling than I did. To be fair, it actually had nothing to do with dance. It has to do with friends and feelings. I'm not generally the most demonstrative or compelling person in a crowd. I tend to quietly observe when there are more dominant people-magnet personalities around. Sometimes I wish this weren't the case, but that is who I am. Occasionally, this leaves me feeling like I'm not exactly anyone's desired friend. (Already I know I should just change my attitude, because this line of reasoning isn't exactly accurate. One of my friends tonight was super happy to see me, and I her! She's the best.) so maybe I'm just jealous of people that have multiple close friends. Distance separates me from many of my best friends from college, and I'm slowly working to develop new relationships here in Salt Lake. It takes more time here. I don't want to be a whiner... I want to be a helper. If I can't be the most effervescent person, I can at least be the most kind, thoughtful, helpful, and caring person I can be. That attracts people as much as fun does. It doesn't matter that I got shelved in the back row today when I could easily have resumed my old spot in the middle line...it matters that when the entire cast was standing awkwardly on stage, I started leading the figure that was supposed to happen next. And everyone joined and the awkward ended. Maybe the performance experience tonight made someone else's night amazing. I hope so... These are great groups this year! As for me, well... I'll pick myself up again tomorrow and press on in happy service and not worry about myself and my feelings of tonight.
