Fall Beauties

Mt. Timpanogos 

Quaking Aspen

Me, mom, and David

Me at Sundance

Fall Leaves (my favorite)

A Conversation with Self

Saturday night

Me: I should be healthy. Like actually eating lunch during the school week. And the weekend too. 

Self: Yeah, that's a great idea! We like food!

Me: I've always though that a V-8 would make a nice lunch. I get my veggies, some nutrition, and it would totally balance out my morning munching on yogurt/granola bars/cereal. (My body requires a good balance of sweet and savory.) 

Self: Ooh, we like V-8! And we know you're mostly thinking about what a great lunch it would make because we're at Wal-Mart and it's on sale. You can get an extra two cans for normal price! Hooray for bargains.

Me: Hey, I'm at Wal-Mart and V-8 is on sale, and it is in cute little cans! That's such the perfect thing to leave at my desk. I'll never be hungry again! 

Self: Yeah right. 
 
I buy the V-8. And it is low sodium, which means I won't OD on sodium.


Today 

Me: I'm hungry for lunch and was in too much of a hurry to grab the tupperware of food sitting in the fridge waiting for me to grab it. 

Self: We are way too busy if we can't manage to grab a measly tupperware container...

Me: I'll try my V-8! I'm so excited to open this and be all healthy and good things like that.

Self: Food!

Me and Self: Ummm.... this stuff isn't so good.

Me: Wow, this sure tastes... healthy.

Self: Not satisfying. Whose bright idea was it to buy "Low Sodium"??

Me: I have seven more of these things to get through. 

Self: Forget daily percent values. Never buy V-8 without all its preservative salt. EVER. 

Me and Self: Ingredients:
     -- Reconstituted vegetable juice blend (Water and concentrated juices of tomatoes, carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, watercress, spinach), potassium chloride, sugar, magnesium, salt, natural flavoring, vitamin C, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, citric acid.


Self: DIE SODIUM! They killed it. 


Me: That was a disappointing lunch. Vending machine?

This is it, except I got 2 extra cans for free, so it's an 8 pack. Lucky  me!

Prayer

Dear friends,

I believe in prayer. I love it. It has been a life-saver for me, so many times in my life. I will be forever grateful to my parents for raising me in a home filled with prayer, teaching me how to find answers and peace and guidance. 

I sometimes joke with my mom about my patterns of calling her... generally we talk about once a week on the phone, chat way too much on gmail-chat, and maybe text here and there. But then I'll start calling her almost every day. And my mom and I have both learned that for me and calling her, no news is good news. So if I'm calling every day.... well, its probably not great news. Prayer should not be like that, although I won't deny that my count increases with hard times.  I love that I have someone constantly able to "pick up the line" and listen to me. Someone that can give me true guidance and inspiration. It's always hard to stare into the abyss of darkness and wonder what's going to happen when you step out there. I sort of dislike heights, and consequently am not a huge fan of falling. So often when you step into the darkness, its more like stepping off a tall ledge than stepping forward on a path. 

I feel like I've been standing at that precipice lately, staring into utter blackness that refuses to offer the slightest hint of what is to come. I'm pretty sure that I've taken the last teensy toe-hold off that ledge and am now waiting for the impact. All things considered though, I know that it doesn't so much matter what I see right now-- someone else is guiding me. It is still scary and I still don't really know what is coming next. But I have my guide, watching and leading from a much clearer viewpoint than where I stand. 

Apple-Caramel Cheesecake

May I preface this post by saying that between 5:40 pm and 8:10 pm I went grocery shopping (for dinner/dessert ingredients), made the cheesecake and baked it, ran about 2 miles while it baked, took it out to cool, started the Cincinnati Chili simmering, showered, made pasta, got dressed, put makeup on, did my hair, set the table, cut up the condiments... well you get the idea. I felt like Superwoman by the time Matt knocked on the door. I even remembered to put napkins on before he got there! Anyways, let's get to the point...

INCREDIBLE YUMM!!!! Matt thought dinner tasted great, but his comment after eating a slice of this cheesecake? "Erica, you out-did yourself tonight." Thank you very much! I wouldn't call it a perfect result (the cheesecake, I mean) but it sure did taste AMAZING. Thanks, Paula Deen!


I'm not sure if it needed to cook a little longer or just needed to cool in the fridge more. As you can see, the top was getting darkened, and the center seemed mostly cooked... maybe I just need a legitimate oven that cooks evenly, not the typical student-housing oven. However, I submit that as my first attempt at cheesecake, it doesn't really matter if it was a little liquidy in the center, since it was delicious to eat!

Current controversy

When Prop 8 was a big deal, especially when it was overturned by the judge, there was a lot of commentary going on nationwide. I followed it, to an extent, and even started reading the judicial ruling made by that judge. It was hugely long and I didn't finish it, but it was very interesting to read. I'm pretty sure the opposition had a better-developed argument, and the lawyer on "our" side might have done more to bring credible evidentiary support to the issue. Regardless, I eventually stopped reading the case and news articles and commentary because it engenders (hah, great word choice for the topic) so much controversy. Controversy. That's probably what I react to more than conflict. Conflict can be resolved. Controversy, on the other hand, seems to be an endless litany of arguments with no end in sight. 


So what spurred this discussion tonight? Essentially the same thing. Elder Packer's conference talk has riled people up everywhere. I personally really appreciated his insights. I've thought a lot about the issue of gay rights versus the definition of marriage. Part of me recognizes that there is a population out there that is not going to disappear and will continue to demand recognition and equal treatment. The other part of me is entirely set on the fact that marriage is, has been, and always will be between a man and woman. Nothing else qualifies for that title. To hear President Packer discuss how man's laws cannot supersede God's laws seemed to settle some of those difficulties in my mind. Of course, the homosexual community is up in arms about the issue. (Interesting, because the talk was as much about pornography and overcoming sin in general as it was about anything else.) 


People picket and hold gatherings to denounce the Church and its teachings. People can be cruel. There are Facebook pages supporting President Packer but they are riddled with negative comments, detractors who lambaste members, leadership, swear, post links to Facebook groups encouraging people to leave the Church. It's ridiculous. I fully support the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I have no doubts that we are led by a living prophet, and the apostles likewise have the ability to receive revelation and inspiration. I believe that we must move forward with love for our fellow brothers and sisters, regardless of their situations. I realize it's naive of me to wish for the days when controversial topics involving the Church were less public and less significant. But this is the day and age we live in. There will be controversy and detractors. In a sense it is a weeding out process, and I believe that it's something each person will have to personally decide (meaning their commitment level). 


As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 

Thought of the Day

It is past all controversy that what costs dearest is, and ought to be, most valued.

Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)

Slow Cooker Goodness

I don't remember how I first stumbled across this site, but it is a gem! Not that I use my crockpot all that much, but I'm slowly getting more and more use out of it. Matt is a master crockpot cooker, and the delicious foods he whips out of there have inspired me to try more of the low-maintenance cooking. So, if you're like me and just a novice slow-cooker cook, check out 365 Days of Slow Cooking! She's got great recipes and has even rated them. And her helpful tips are good for someone like me who barely knows how to buy meat, let alone slow-cooker worthy meat. Seriously, check it out. 

:)

Advice Needed

I love summer for many reasons, but one of them is the footwear. It's so easy to find cute sandals to wear, they're inexpensive, and all is fine and dandy. And then comes Fall (and Winter....) and you have to wear close-toed shoes. Ick. Herein is my dilemma. I need to find some cute, versatile shoes to wear. I'm a professor, so they  need to be somewhat professional, but I don't necessarily want to wear heels all the time, but I could probably use some anyways..... maybe I should just buy like 5 pairs of shoes and call it good. Haha goodness knows that I'd be just happy with that (my checkbook would highly disagree though). So.... what do you think? Type of shoe? Color? Style? I don't even have a direction right now, otherwise I'd put up options and ask. What a conundrum.....

Shoes. The reason why summer should last forever. 

Remembering

Sometimes I can be critical.... and sometimes I can be hyper-critical. This usually happens most in dance. After being a dancer for 20 years, it's a topic I am very knowledgeable about. I can recognize good and bad technique in most genres, and I can also see good and bad performance. The thing is, most of what I notice doesn't matter to the average viewer. And it's quite possible that my hyper-critical comments detract not only from the performance (which always represents a significant amount of work and dedication on the part of the artists) but also from my character. So, in a matter of mere seconds I can destroy someone's perception of a dance, their perception of me, under-value the effort of the artists, and destroy the event for myself by not simply letting myself be captured by the aesthetics. Nit-picking is not great sometimes.


I was somewhat admonished on this topic the other day. I'm glad something was said.... I don't always realize when I've gone into this hyper-critical mode. And I don't want to excuse the fact that I'm guilt of this: I am. What probably doesn't come across when I comment on dance is that I would critique myself just as harshly. But really, going to a dance performance is something I love because I can abandon myself to the beauty. I had a hard time this last show letting go of the analysand in me and simply appreciating. 


I love dance. It enchants me. I am far from perfect in my dancing. I have never been the best, and I've always known that. I only wish I could dance in my mortal body the way my soul dances. I think what I'm realizing right now is that I've lost some of the soul in my dancing and in my viewing of dance. That is a tragedy, but thankfully one that can be amended. 


So tonight, I am amending that... or at least beginning to. When I first came to BYU I was inspired by dance, awed by it; I didn't know any of the performers personally yet and hadn't learned so much as to make me so "expert" in the genres. In my first weeks here I watched World of Dance, a yearly dance production where all the performing groups showcase their talents. Thank you BYUTV for having this (2004) performance online! I have been moved almost to tears (partly in sadness at my arrogance, but mostly from the beauty of the dances). 


Thanks for the admonishment. In all my learning and knowledge acquisition of late, I have forgotten to be inspired. Life should inspire and awe us.... and I hope that I might remember this more from now on.