Babyless

I spent ten years in Utah - no surprise then that most of my friends live there still. And I guess a lot of them have family that lives there too. Utah does that: keeps people there and close to family. I miss that aspect of it. (And the proximity of the mountains. Definitely miss that.) 

If I lived in Utah, in sure I would have gone on a babyless date by now. Heck, maybe even had the chance to leave everyone and just go do something for myself. 

But I don't. 

And I haven't. 

And I don't see it happening anytime soon. 

(And that's mostly okay, but right now I'm not so thrilled about it.)

Postpartum body

I don't want to say much on this. My body made another human being - and a super cute one at that! I was pretty okay with how I grew. I was definitely on the small side with how I carried her, plus I didn't gain lots of extra weight beyond the recommendations. 

Now baby is out and it's been a bit more of an adjustment. It could be the long recovery from surgery. It really did take almost six weeks before I felt like I could walk at my normal pace. It also left a scar - which isn't so bad, but how the muscles and skin sit around the scar bothers me sometimes. 

I fit into some of my old "fat" jeans! So I'm happy to be back to one of my old bodies, even if it wasn't my smallest or most favorite. I'm still fluffy even though I can button said pants. 

This week I've started working out! It's fun to sweat and move my body. I'm thrilled that I feel good enough to exercise and motivated to do so. I'm trying to remember to be patient with myself and focus on what matters most - my beautiful girl. I'm happy to sacrifice for her. And I'm happy to be able to balance both our needs. 

Grandma B

Not sure if I've made note of this, but Grandma B passed away suddenly in September. I do miss her. 

Today is her birthday! I never realized that she was born on the first day of spring, but how fitting. She loved nature and being close to the earth. She took pictures of lovely sunsets, kept flowers and a garden, and often talked of sleeping under the stars in her backyard. 

I want my kids to know that about their great grandma. Plus she introduced me to some fantastic literature. 

Stake conference

The stake president spoke briefly about the music of the gospel - how the way we live our lives can be evidence of the gospel acting within us. He mentioned many types of people as quiet examples of this - the woman with cancer who fed the presidency between meetings, the scout leader who prepares a lesson for his son each week. And then, in what I'm pretty positive was a nod to us, he mentioned the new parents who don't get much sleep. 

I had already been in and out with Elsie at least twice. For the cumulative hour I was able to sit and listen, I probably yawned about ten times. And then Dave took her out too to help her fall asleep. He was just walking in when President Watterson made the comment. I appreciated his words. It seems to me a recognition that of all the places we could be right then, both of us wanted to hear the words of the adult session of conference and brought Elsie along, no matter how much up and down, in and out that meant. 

She's usually quite easy for us but tonight was a bit harder and in public. But I'm glad we were there. I'm thankful for the music of the gospel in our little family.