I have the best job :)

I don't like to brag, but I really do have the best job ever! 

I didn't exactly realize I would be leading this dance... I thought I would just be a dancer! It's a teaching video, so it's pretty long. Jump to around 12:00 to see the full dance without the instruction. 

Also, if you have a Dance Dash coming to a location near you, sign up to participate! You'll have a blast, guaranteed!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I'm an Ireland fanatic. It was the first country I ever visited. I love the people, the music, the dance, and the food. Eight years later, I'm even more obsessed with Ireland! That three week trip shaped my life - especially my academic life. While I won't claim to be an expert in the field, I have spent the past years honing my knowledge of Irish dance history, and I have hopes of publishing a book on the subject in the next year or two. I love Ireland. 

One of my favorite pictures from that trip is of this gentleman we met on a pedestrian street in downtown Limerick. He was playing traditional tunes on his accordion, and it seemed to me like he was the quintessential representation of Ireland. Here's to the mystique and intrigue of the Emerald Isle, where the past and present live side by side on a daily basis. 

Peaks and Valleys

I was reading yesterday about a man who complained that life always seemed to be on an up and down rollercoaster... never smoothing out into a nice balance. He happened to be complaining to a nurse, who observed that if you're in the hospital, the peaks and valleys on the heart monitor indicate you're alive! No one wants to get a flat line there. 

It's true. Life is a continual series of peaks and valleys, reminding us that we are alive, living, learning, and growing. Monday was a day like no other for peaks and valleys. There's a few things in limbo for me right now, which is a phase of living that I really don't care for and really don't thrive in. I dislike limbo. Nor am I particularly patient in limbo. Clearly, there's some learning and growing for me to go through right now. 

So limbo. I've been in limbo for a bit. A valley to be sure. About when I entered limbo, though, my new roommate moved in! She is awesome. All three of us are getting along well, and I think she's a great catalyst to bring us together. Fun, outgoing, supportive... definitely a peak. 

Work - another peak in my life. I love my job! It's rewarding and fulfilling, and I am good at what I do. I got some exciting news on Monday about upcoming events, which was definitely a big peak! I'll be sure to elaborate more on that when I get the full details :) . 

Peak: I went ice skating at the Olympic Oval last night and had a great time with the ward! I met some new people I hadn't talked to much in the past. Guys and girls. I also realized that I'm a decent (not great, but definitely not bad) skater, and that I really do have strong legs that don't tire easily. We won't mention the knees.....

Peak: I've been doing SO GOOD on my goals of scripture reading and prayer so far this year. Some days it's a little harder to feel the peace, comfort, and tranquility that these usually bring, but I know it's there somewhere. I feel like my relationship with the Lord is improving. That's very important to me. 

Peak: This one might be a questionable peak, but I hit and surpassed my weight goals for the holidays. I wanted to drop a few pounds (literally, like 2) by getting a bit more in shape. Over the two months of Zero Weigh In challenge, I actually lost a bit more than 5 lbs! I had fasted the day before the weigh in, so I think that might have dropped me a few more, but a solid 5 is very nice. My next goal is to work on muscle tone and cardio endurance. 

Peak: I have friends and family who love me and care about me. 

Peak: I am involved in a fantastic dance company that supports me individually and really cares about me as a person. We are also pretty dang good dancers, which doesn't hurt.

Peak: I finally went grocery shopping! I need to go again and get some menu ideas going on, but I am somewhat better stocked and finally have breakfast foods again. Yum!

Peak: I moved to the master room in our house and have a sweet bathtub in my bathroom. I love it. And I have a bay window. And hopefully I will find a few of my monkey hooks so I can hang a picture or two. 

Peak: I have good books on my Kindle! Admittedly, I'm currently reading an old one simply because I know it will be a good brain escape (it's very hard to find things that will occupy my brain so I can stop over-thinking), but I'm excited to start my new gift "And the Mountains Echoed" and a recommendation from my sister in law. Can't remember the name, but I did buy it!

Valley: Limbo. Always has been and always will be hard for me. Gone through some various stages of sadness on this one. I'm not sure where I stand at this point. All I know is who I want to be and how I want to live my life. 

Valley: Delynne Peay, one of my dearest dance professors in college, passed away last night. She had a major role in the course of my life through college, and even beyond. She was passionate about dance, culture, and the great good that comes through these facets. I danced on her team for two years, and remained close to her even after I finished my time with folk dance officially. She was vivacious, compassionate, and always pushed us to be our best. The Lord calls us to different missions at different times - she made a profound difference in my life and helped me discover a passion I didn't know I had. She believed in me and my skills. It has been so impressive to see the response from all the dancers whose lives she touched. I'm thankful to be part of her folk dance family and pray that her immediate family feels the peace and comfort they desire at this time. 

Good morning, 2014!

I must say, 2013 was a good year. Honestly, there was some inevitability of that happening... the previous year was probably the worst year of my life. This time last year I was still pushing onward with faith but uncertainty, and probably not tons of happiness. This New Year, I am so blessed and thankful that it's hard to remember those tough memories! 

I have a wonderful job that keeps me busy and pushes me to learn and grow. Every day I get to work with compassionate and creative people. Together, we make a real difference for hospitalized kids across North America. 

I am taking steps towards my goal of getting published - I'm expanding my thesis and broadening it out to address some important topics in more detail. I will be presenting a portion of my new research this February in Washington D.C. 

I'm healthy and strong. I am motivated to work out and stretch my limits again... maybe even get back into ballet shape with the goal of performing on pointe! I am also continuing my dance pursuits with a competitive clogging team - a whole new experience for me to compete in dance!

I live in a cute house with great roommates who are caring and fun. I am looking forward to the adventures we'll have once we all get moved and settled in. 

Also I had a special someone to kiss at midnight. :)  Thanks, Jake, for wonderful New Year's Eve, New  Year's, and birthday! 

We went to see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty recently..... I loved this quote and want to live my life like this: inspired.

To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to, to draw closer, to see and be amazed and to feel, that is the purpose of life.

Home for the Holidays

Last Christmas I performed with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in their annual Christmas concert - as a dancer, of course! It was my second year doing the production, and I am so thrilled I was able to participate in it. The 2012 show featured Alfie Boe and Tom Brokaw, with a surprise special guest,  Gail "Hal" Halvorsen - also known as the Candy Bomber in WWII. They're very strict about sharing photos of guests, costumes, set, etc, so all the performers had to sign an agreement to keep photos off the mainstream until the DVD was released. 

Well, the DVD is out and another Christmas concert has filled the walls of the Conference  Center, so it's time to share what I was up to a year ago. Auditioning last year was an act of bravery as much as it was an act of desire - performing in that concert led me to meet someone who profoundly influenced my life, though not in the happiest of ways. Auditioning and performing again was my way of staring down fear and telling the world that I would not live in the shadows of what might be. No, I would perform no matter who might be there on the tech crew. And perform I did. 

Alfie Boe is an amazing talent, and so humble and generous! It was an honor to meet him and chat with him during the concert run. I also got to meet Richard Elliott, the wizard on the organ who charms audiences with his amazing skills and musical interpretation. He took up the organ as an adult and I really enjoyed hearing some of his story about learning and excelling at this instrument. The choir members, orchestra, fellow dancers, and bell ringers all made the show a success on stage and rewarding backstage. 

** Side note: I hear I am in the video again this year. I haven't seen it yet, but I plan to watch it and verify this. 
*Other side note: I really should touch up my hair more frequently. The whole dark roots with light hair looks less classy and more obvious than I realize. 

Erica does hip hop - MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Midnight Musings

I've often wondered what others see when they see me dance. Do I look goofy? Do I look elegant? Do I look like I'm embodying the dance I'm doing, or do I just look like a body doing a set of dictated movements? 

I've often wondered this, especially as I've gotten older and done so many different styles of dance. At some point in college I realized - quite vividly - that the dancer in my mind's eye is WAY better than the physical one I actually am in real life. I think I became resigned to that fact many years ago. And honestly, that's okay. I like to think it's my spirit dancing, and one day I'll have the body that won't limit all that glorious movement. 

As the years have progressed, I've become more limited. Time marches on, and the machine that is the body must be maintained more rigorously over time to keep all the range of motion and fluidity that once came so easily. No wonder professional dancers phase out young. I'm not even that good, but even I can recognize that there are natural limits, or at least increasing prices to pay to keep the limits at bay. 

As a senior in high school, I wrenched out my knee cap. Anyone who has had knee issues knows that knee cap problems are just as rough and painful as knee joint problems. It's never gone away. It doesn't have as much "spring" in it. It doesn't bend as far as I would like. And it tends to feel funky when it does. That injury happened ten years ago in October. 

I've rolled both ankles a few times, though surprisingly less than one might imagine for a dancer. In 2009 I turned my left ankle quite severely. I managed to hobble around, although I did go get x-rays. Then in May I sprained my right ankle. Very badly. All my grown up body weight landed on it, and only it, from a lift in the air. I couldn't walk for three days. It was swollen for almost two months. It still hurts on occasion, still is a bit more swollen than it should be, and still has some distinct reduction in range of motion. 

I miss being a whole, physically capable dancer. I suppose I could have always worked harder and maintained more of my ballet skills and flexibility, achieved greater precision and technique in my feet, and developed better stamina and stage presence. I feel like I've matured mentally and become a better and better dancer as I've aged, but in some respects I've lost ground too. I may be able to characterize and portray better,  but only so far as my increased physical limitations will allow. 

I realize I'm not some decrepit old lady. I realize that I still perform on a dance team and will most likely find many more ways to continue dancing. But today I found out I didn't make an audition, which in past years I have made. I know they are changing direction and drastically reducing their cast size from previous years. I know there is really no sane or healthy way that I could have done that, clogging, and fulfilled my calling without sacrificing something. Given some of my past struggles with maintaining a healthy lifestyle, it's surely for the best for me to have a little downtime. But then perhaps I hid those and you didn't know I had struggles. 

I love to dance. I'm sad tonight that a door is shut. I know many  more doors and windows will be open to me still. I want to dance forever. I've danced longer than many people, and I'm impressed with the women I dance with now who have been at it even longer than I have! Perhaps I will be like them, if I can get my aging brain to hang on to choreography like it used to. If I can get my body to do what it's supposed to. If I can have a stage to fill with beautiful movement, with lights and music. For the love of dance...

Bring the happy

Usually dancing makes me happy, no matter what. Usually. I mean, how hard is it to get an endorphin high when you're doing what you love, wearing great costumes, and sporting awesome makeup?

 Of course, this wasn't my outfit tonight, but I still should have come away with a different feeling than I did. To be fair, it actually had nothing to do with dance. It has to do with friends and feelings. I'm not generally the most demonstrative or compelling person in a crowd. I tend to quietly observe when there are more dominant people-magnet personalities around. Sometimes I wish this weren't the case, but that is who I am. Occasionally, this leaves me feeling like I'm not exactly anyone's desired friend. (Already I know I should just change my attitude, because this line of reasoning isn't exactly accurate. One of my friends tonight was super happy to see me, and I her! She's the best.) so maybe I'm just jealous of people that have multiple close friends. Distance separates me from many of my best friends from college, and I'm slowly working to develop new relationships here in Salt Lake. It takes more time here. 

I don't want to be a whiner... I want to be a helper. If I can't be the most effervescent person, I can at least be the most kind, thoughtful, helpful, and caring person I can be. That attracts people as much as fun does.  It doesn't matter that I got shelved in the back row today when I could easily have resumed my old spot in the middle line...it matters that when the entire cast was standing awkwardly on stage, I started leading the figure that was supposed to happen next. And everyone joined and the awkward ended. Maybe the performance experience tonight made someone else's night amazing. I hope so... These are great groups this year! As for me, well... I'll pick myself up again tomorrow and press on in happy service and not worry about myself and my feelings of tonight. 

Dance and truth

To know me, truly know me, is to see me dance. I love it. I'm most confident when I'm dancing. I'm happiest when dancing. And all the inside joy radiates outwards, possibly making me the most beautiful when I dance. I joke that it's my full time hobby.... But it is! And I'm hoping to make it more of a hobby..... That's a story for another day, though. Tonight, I'm basking in the after glow of a wonderful evening of dance, and the compliments of several guys on my dancing skills and eyes. :) 

Day 19: Psalm 149:3

I should have prepared better... another fun night of country dancing. It's very fun, even if filled with its own kind of drama. Some guys ask the cute girls to dance. Some guys ask any girl to dance. Some guys come back to the good dancers and ask them to dance again. 

I love to dance. I feel like my spirit is a spirit that dances with joy, the way some people's sing with joy. It is worship and joy. We are that we might have joy. Perhaps sometimes it is enough to dance a prayer of joy and appreciate that moment. Praise God in all you do. There is no better prayer of gratitude than to live joyfully.

Academic Chops

I decided to enter my thoughts into the HERA (Humanities) Conference for 2013. Why?? I don't know. I guess because parts of me miss academia and I knew my prior research fit will with the topic of sacred site/secular spaces. I may or may not be accepted... I'm sure they give precedent to actual scholars in school. And with the fee's I'd pay as a non-student... not sure I'd accept the invitation. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Here is my conference proposal. 

Ancient and Present Rhythms in Tap and Irish Step Dance

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. The body lives in a steady beat, drummed daily by the heart. It moves in rhythmic cycles, regulated by the beat and rhythm of nature. Humans have historically moved and been moved by the rhythms of the world. Urges to replicate, manipulate, and appreciate those natural cadences resulted in some of the greatest, most innovative works of art. Dance places rhythm and time at the forefront of its creations; the now mundane pulse of life becomes beautiful once again through dance’s interpretations. American tap and Irish step dance epitomize the expression of sacred rhythms in secular spaces, drawing on a heritage steeped in spiritual roots and thriving in the material world of entertainment.

The percussive dance stylings of tap and Irish step dance offer a rich comparison of how acoustic space can be utilized to shape histories. Shelley Berg notes the link forged between past and present through dance performance, stating, “[t]he past is shaped by the present and the present is reshaped by the past. At any given instant, we both live history and live in history” (225). Performers presenting tap or Irish dance simultaneously express the present – the rhythmic expressions created in the moment and existing in real time – while conjuring images of the past. For both forms, the sound expresses a much older beat, born of deeply ancient heritages. Tap and Irish dance use complex rhythms that evoke powerful cadences from the past, made relevant through present-ing. 

BYU Reminiscences: 7 years in the making

This is a way old post draft, but I feel like I need some space on my blog between my recent past and what lies ahead. I did not see this ending coming, but I know the Lord and my amazing family and friends will keep me strong while I figure it all out. So in the meantime while I work things out, here are some of my fun BYU memories. Not all, but the pics I have collected so far.