One month later

Well, it's been one month since my life dramatically changed course. Wow. I made it! I made it? Yeah.... I think so at least. I'm still here, still pushing forward, at whatever pace that may be.

... breathe....           ........... breathe.......

Some of you know the story.... most of you don't. As Rafiki says in The Lion King, "It doesn't matter now; it's in the past." My emotions are starting to catch up to my brain now with remembering this. Unwanted people (person) doesn't show up in my dreams anymore. Even though many things around me bring up connections to said individual, they're not emotionally charged anymore. I'm working to cut those links even more. For example, tonight we had Cincinnati Chili for dinner. Yummo!! I love this dish, but I hadn't made it in a long time. As I started telling my mom the reason why I hadn't made it, I paused. The reason had to do with person, but the reason doesn't really matter. I just haven't made that dish in a while. End of story. That's what I'm working on now.

I have also decided to move back to Provo. On some levels, I'm scared. I still have a hard time sometimes getting on Facebook and seeing the signs of relationship bliss. Don't get me wrong: I'm so happy for my friends! My personal relationship failures haven't made me so jaded that I can't appreciate the joy that my friends feel in their successes. It's beautiful to see their engagements, their babies, their fun activities. I need their good examples, really. I settled for what quickly became a sham of a relationship, a joke of an engagement.

Wait a sec.... I'm getting off track. So, I'm moving back to Provo. I don't have a job. I don't have anywhere to live, as of yet. I won't say I'm ready to leave Missouri, nor do I think I'll be jumping at the bit to get back to Utah, but..... it feels like the best thing to do. I have many great friends there who have proven to be a strong support system for me. When I start getting worried I think about them. At baptism we covenant to "bear one another's burdens" and sometimes I feel like I  might be that burden to people. I hope not... I hope I can be strong enough with the Lord to just be normal. But if not, He's blessed me with friends that have already shown their love and care.

Well, I'm waxing long-winded. I just wanted to mark that it's been a month. And I'm doing quite well, compared to many others who experienced something like this. And I've figured out my next steps. Now to pray that I get a good job that will help support my decision!

The last six months

Well, obviously a lot has happened in the last six months. And to be completely honest, I didn't take very many pictures during that time to begin with. Once you figure in all the ones I deleted as of late, well... it's a pretty sparse selection. Here are some favorites!

Mark was nice enough to let me take him on a date to hike the Y. 

Classic Mark pose. 

ROAD TRIP TO VEGAS!!!

Hideous yet funny bedspreads at Motel 6. 

An ashtray that says "No Smoking".... where's the logic in that one?

Best place ever!!

Aww, cutesy wootsy. And I was there, too. 

That awesome John Cusack movie "Serendipity"? We had dinner at that restaurant! 

So much ice cream sundae!!!

Splashed by the dolphins at the Mirage.

Now you may be wondering why there are four trainers at the dolphin pool. They could just be bored. Or, they could be working to keep the dolphins calm after a rather large guest managed to fall over the retaining wall and into the tank! And considering the standing ledge on the pool side of the low wall, it's kind of miraculous that she managed to actually fall in the water. 

Cute dolphins. I've decided I want to swim with dolphins before I die. 

They did some fun tricks for us when the trainers fed them. 

Hello!

The friendly dolphin who showed off but didn't splash us. We're besties. 

Dolphins not cool enough? Big cats (not pictured on my blog I guess) not cool enough? How about a nightly volcano eruption! We were pretty far away but you could still feel the heat surge with the flames. 

Contemplative mustachio me. 

Awesome seats at the bar at the Rainforest Cafe, MGM. 

Mandalay Bay. This is where I would go if I wanted to stay in Vegas. 

And that's all she wrote for now! I had to get these up so I could share my quilting and peaching adventures. 

BYU Reminiscences: 7 years in the making

This is a way old post draft, but I feel like I need some space on my blog between my recent past and what lies ahead. I did not see this ending coming, but I know the Lord and my amazing family and friends will keep me strong while I figure it all out. So in the meantime while I work things out, here are some of my fun BYU memories. Not all, but the pics I have collected so far.