Life, untitled

Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.

Victor Hugo (1802-1885)

Photo by Rodney Smith

Raising Helen

Great movie. I just caught the end of it, and remembered the first time I saw it. It was right before I came out to college my freshman year, 5 years ago. I went with my best friend, Scarlet, to the movies in Joplin, as kind of a last hurrah together. The movie is really touching, and I know I was crying as I was driving us back to Carthage. I think it had finally hit me that things were going to change a lot, very soon; I don't think I realized that things would change forever. Dark night illuminated by streetlights, we sat at the light near the train tracks, having just turned on to that main road (Rangeline). My '86 BMW one of the few cars on the road-- I loved my first car. It had great stick shift/clutch action.

Interesting, what we remember.

Scary Shower

So this morning I hopped in the shower to get ready for church, which starts at the most pleasing time of 11:30am. I had slept in a bit, relishing my last sleeping-in day for the next several days. For some reason though, I have a habit of closing my eyes in the shower as the hot water washes over me. I guess it is relaxing and revitalizing, at the same time. Anyways, a few minutes in I was soaking my hair so I could start shampooing. All of a sudden, I open my eyes and see BLACK WATER on the wall and swirling down the drain. BLACK WATER!!! Immediately my mind recalled images of a TV show I'd seen where the girl is about to shower and then red water starts spurting out of the shower head (yeah, it was bloody water). So with that lovely image in my head, I start trying to make sense of the blackness. At this point, I can see that the water coming out of the shower head is clean; I start worrying if some kind of dye had rubbed on my hair while I was sleeping. I checked, and my hair was still blonde. After a few minutes of worry I finally just finished washing, as the water seemed clear (and planned to stay that way).

I told my roommate, Rachel, this story after church and our other roommate, Ace (Candace), said that she had seen her sink water turn black that morning! I assume it was the same time as my dark shower moment. It sure makes me wonder......... I just hope it doesn't happen ever again!

In other news, church was awesome! The ward seems very friendly and open, and I definitely plan to stay here more than my typical one-year stints. Not that my last ward was bad, but now I also have a nice apartment to tie me down too. I'm quite satisfied. Now if only I could find that last bag of kitchen stuff and finish unpacking my random boxes....

Like Old Times

A few days ago I was so bored I started reading what I had written on my blog, back when I first started it. Does that say something about me? I promise I'm not overly self-centered.... although my musings today may persuade you otherwise. Who are "you" anyways? I tend to write for my own amusement, although I certainly did post pictures/stories of my vacation for others to enjoy too. But generally... I just like writing. And it's been altogether too long since I've written a rather random recitation... recapitulation... anyways (we'll end that there).

So I have been thinking lately. I often do that, but I've been dwelling on some similar topics more as of late. On Saturday I went to the wedding reception of one of my good friends from folk dance and film class. Admittedly, I was rather late, but going alone just didn't make me want to get up and go earlier. I'm really glad I made it though, because she and her husband are just so cute! Besides, you only get married once, and I really appreciated that I had been invited to share in their celebration of that. I think sometimes I forget how special it is for the couple and how unique a day its for them. I'm usually too wrapped up in my own insecurities to appreciate that aspect. Thankfully, though, all of that was gone at this reception. Maybe it was good to go alone and arrive late. I really came just to congratulate my friend and her new husband. For the first time in many receptions, I didn't leave feeling sad, or ho-hum, or woe-is-me. I left happy and content.

Which leads me to a shocking revelation-- I like being single. I mean, yes, I have hard days where I'm sad about the continual singleness of my life, but more and more I'm LOVING the freedom I have. From going to Europe to being in dance companies to starting grad school, I have a lot of freedom. I'm teaching a dance class this year, largely because I can and I want to. (Okay, so they desperately needed a teacher. At least I was highly referred by my excellent Irish dance sister, Ananda). Obviously the trip to Europe is an extreme of freedom, mostly satiating my travel-lust and a few life dreams, but going to graduate school is moderately responsible. I like being free to do that. Don't worry, I'm sure somewhere in my future I'll change my mind. But for those who have heard me bemoan my fate at times, please note the general shift of my paradigm. Yes, I'll have bouts of loneliness in the future, but I think this marks the crossing of a threshold, in some small way.

I think this is sufficiently random. I hope in the future to recapture more of my fun "voice"-- in re-reading past posts I noticed that it's faded a little bit. Hopefully I'll have some fun stories as the semester gets underway.... between World of Dance, teaching my Irish class, Clog America (which I have to re-audition for this year), grad school, work, football games, new ward.... etc etc, that should keep me pretty busy!

Oh, and did I mention a new-found hobby? Ok, it's not really a hobby. It started more as a favor to a friend who wanted a model for some photography practice. But it was lots of fun! Here's a few shots-- kudos to Steve Myler, photographer extraordinaire. (The second one is his-- and probably my-- favorite shot).

Recipe to try out...

Cafe Rio Pork

Thoughts on Dance

America has been called a melting pot, but it seems better to call it a mosaic, for in it each nation, people or race which has come to its shores has been privileged to keep its individuality, contributing at the same time its share to the unified pattern of a new nation. -King Baudouin of Belgium (1930-1993)

I read this quote in my 'Word of the Day' email, and immediately thought how well it would fit in with my future master's thesis on dance in the humanities-- dance as a means of transmitting culture. Hopefully I remember this when I actually start working on it... in a few months/years!

Karlovac, Croatia July 7, 2009

Don't worry, at some point I'll add real information to the previous post. Probably after someone tells me they actually have read some of this and want to know more. Tee hee.

So this picture was taken in front of the theatre house in Karlovac. Not a movie theatre, a real one for operas and symphonies, and plays, etc. This is on our way across town and up the large hill to see Dubovac, the castle. Have I mentioned that place yet? Anyways, in keeping with European trends we walked the whole way there (go healthy factor!) and of course Heather and I couldn't resist getting in some fun shots along the way. Strike a pose!

Mostly I just wanted to say: I painted my fingernails tonight for the first time in a long time and I'm totally digging it.

Dravograd, Slovenia

I was going to add more about the show.... then I decided that I already have it all in my journal :) Ok, well maybe another day I'll change this and put real stuff on. Let me know if you want the rest of the story.