Thursday, August 12, 2010
A bird between two branches
Life is a smidgen interesting right now. I think -- hope!-- that it's because I'm at a very transitionary point of my life. Tomorrow I leave my full-time employment of over two years. I'll be going back to school full time. I will be a university professor this fall, responsible for teaching students. And I'm sort of (?) dating someone. I know, could I please be more ambiguous on that count. Sorry, you know as much as I do! All the change and life stress right now has me feeling... weird.
For example, I have been super indecisive lately. The Academy of Ballet contacted me to 1) finally pay me my June wages and 2) see if I wanted to teach Irish again this year. I knew after the recital in June that I didn't want to teach, and I also have conflicts this year that prohibit me from teaching after December. Despite that, I still debated for about 4 days what I wanted to do. In the end I told the studio I definitely would not be able to teach at all.
Or how about my class load for fall? I've had my classes figured out since April. Until today, when I saw a different class and added that and had to decide which one would be more useful. Yeah, that would be the class I originally signed up for. Duh. I dropped the other class...
And the dating thing? Well, I have no clue where I'm at on that one. As in, for the first time ever I'm not jumping the gun and thinking into the future a ton, and while that's a little uncharacteristic, it's also nice. Living in the moment is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm happy to let things play out as they will, on this count. And in case it doesn't sound like it, I am happy about dating this guy. Very happy. But it has been a transition too, from a phone/long-distance relationship to actually dating and being in the same city/state/time zone. I guess it's just part of a lot of change all at the same time.
I very much need something. Stability? Vacation? Sanity? Sleep? I'm not sure, but I hope I figure it out soon.
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Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith. ~ President Thomas S. Monson
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