Dear dude on that ldsdating.site,
I'm tired of you, collectively speaking. Yes, yes, there are some true gems on there. I do believe that. I mean... I'm on there. But let's face it: you're most likely talking to me because of my looks. Flattering, maybe, but it gets old super fast. I personally believe that my brain and personality are just, if not more, attractive than my physical looks. Let me share some thoughts on what I think of you. IF you are closer to 40 than 30, I am not your girl. IF you are 3o and only have a high school diploma to your name, I am so not your girl. IF you are 22 and already divorced, I probably am not your girl either. IF you call me pet names without even knowing me, I am not your girl, your baby, your hun, etc. IF you judge me because I didn't serve a mission... well wow, and I guess I'm not your girl either. IF you talk with me or meet me and it turns out you're a toad, I am not your girl. IF you weird me out and I cancel plans the same day you invite me, I apologize, but I am not your girl, and no, I will not give you any recommendations for friends of mine you should ask out in lieu of me attending that event. And finally, one of my favorites. IF you are 30+, a musician, living with your parents, high school diploma only, no real job, no real picture, questionable interest in your religious convictions, and attack me because I turn you down, I am not your girl.
So, dear dude out there, I am departing from your world. The quantity of dates you've supplied me with has been somewhat amazing, but quality is better than quantity. And I'm leaving the country. But even if I weren't, I'm tired of your general type. Thanks for the hilarious stories, at least!
-me
I'm tired of you, collectively speaking. Yes, yes, there are some true gems on there. I do believe that. I mean... I'm on there. But let's face it: you're most likely talking to me because of my looks. Flattering, maybe, but it gets old super fast. I personally believe that my brain and personality are just, if not more, attractive than my physical looks. Let me share some thoughts on what I think of you. IF you are closer to 40 than 30, I am not your girl. IF you are 3o and only have a high school diploma to your name, I am so not your girl. IF you are 22 and already divorced, I probably am not your girl either. IF you call me pet names without even knowing me, I am not your girl, your baby, your hun, etc. IF you judge me because I didn't serve a mission... well wow, and I guess I'm not your girl either. IF you talk with me or meet me and it turns out you're a toad, I am not your girl. IF you weird me out and I cancel plans the same day you invite me, I apologize, but I am not your girl, and no, I will not give you any recommendations for friends of mine you should ask out in lieu of me attending that event. And finally, one of my favorites. IF you are 30+, a musician, living with your parents, high school diploma only, no real job, no real picture, questionable interest in your religious convictions, and attack me because I turn you down, I am not your girl.
So, dear dude out there, I am departing from your world. The quantity of dates you've supplied me with has been somewhat amazing, but quality is better than quantity. And I'm leaving the country. But even if I weren't, I'm tired of your general type. Thanks for the hilarious stories, at least!
-me
1 comment:
Erica! Your posts can always make me crack up. You are such a fantastic writer. I recently entered the world of online dating so I can completely appreciate this post. Good luck to the both of us!
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