A Hasty Update

Big news: I fit into my old Buckle jeans again!! It's taken a long time for my body to fully rebound back, but I tried them on yesterday on a whim and was so happily surprised. Sure, I could have worked out harder earlier on and probably arrived at this happy place sooner, but I didn't and I don't regret it. That said, it feels AMAZING to know your old body is (more or less) finally back.

The cutest girl in the whole wide world is amazing me daily, it seems. In the past two weeks she has learned to clap and wave, she gives kisses if you prompt her and offer a cheek, she adores standing up, and she has done a legit army crawl at least 3 times! She is such a joy to me. She also babbles more and more, tries to copy sounds or simple actions I do, loves the water and bathtime, and has finally figured out that human food is pretty good too. She eats rather well when I remember to make a point of feeding her my food (sometimes nursing is so convenient I forget that I need to offer her bits and pieces of food!). She even tried a taste of spicy chicken tikka masala the other day and was totally cool with it! Yesterday she had potatoes, some bits of brussels sprouts, and some tastes of a bacon-wrapped filet mignon.

I truly enjoy spending my days with her. I had someone offer recently to watch her a few hours each week so I could have some "me" time, and my thoughts were 1) so generous 2) pretty sure I'd miss having my girl around, and 3) I don't really have much to do in "me" time because I love doing things with her! We recently worked the Miss America pageant, and while that was tough with a baby, I look back on it and again realize that it was more fun for me because I had her there. Being a mom suits me in ways I never would have guessed. It's a happy - if highly demanding and at times stressful - occupation.

And in funny stories - poopocalypse!! Elsie tends to have these every now and then. Usually when I make the mistake of putting her in her jumpy bouncer when she's due for a poo. THE MESS!!!! I've gotten more observant so she doesn't usually jump her poo out of her diaper anymore, but yesterday takes the cake of poopocalypses. She was napping after church in her car seat. And sometime between when we dropped her off in there and heard her crying awake, she had let the BIG ONE go. I'm so thankful D was still around to help me get things cleaned. And I'm grateful that the Oxyclean seems to have finally worked its magic on her seat straps, because as of last night, it was still pretty sketchy. Poor little gal had a rough awakening with that one!! Moms, beware the stinky toot days and guard against your poopocalypse. It's not nearly as bad when you're expecting it and preparing to catch it the moment it exits.

... and I am now (have been for months now) officially one of the moms who takes great pleasure in discussing bowel movements. Cheerio!

Adulting

Okay, I use the phrase occasionally, but I've been thinking on it recently. When did becoming an adult turn into a thing we don't want to do? Something almost negative or not intrinsic to our growing up? 

Our culture these days (in the USA at least) focuses so much on the individual and self and feelings about yourself that it seems a whole generation is becoming perpetual Peter Pans. Even as we grow up and make adult milestones, we refuse to admit we are real adults, instead defaulting to - what? Adulting? Kids pretending to be adults for a few tasks and then reverting to a less mature self? Sure seems like it. 

Being and adult used to be something we aspired to. Turning 18 and 21, gaining our independence and freedom... Well we have it now. Is this generation really so avoidant of responsibilities that come with age? 

More people have dogs than kids. Call me old fashioned, but a dog is a pet. A kid is your child. I also think we should focus on families and not fulfilling all our dreams and wishes for years and decades on end. Adding a spouse and kids makes my dreams fulfillment even more enjoyable and rewarding. (I understand many struggle to have kids, but this isn't about them. It's about the ones who want to spend their time and money just on making themselves happy.) 

I think we need more people who will step and be real adults, not just fake at it every now and then pat themselves on the back for Adulting for a few hours. A big bunch of whiny selfish kids faking as adults makes for a scary future. 

Wiggle worm

My girl is such a wiggler! It's not very often anymore that she'll fall asleep on me after her feeding. I miss it. She did it tonight though, and it feels so wonderful. 

Babyless

I spent ten years in Utah - no surprise then that most of my friends live there still. And I guess a lot of them have family that lives there too. Utah does that: keeps people there and close to family. I miss that aspect of it. (And the proximity of the mountains. Definitely miss that.) 

If I lived in Utah, in sure I would have gone on a babyless date by now. Heck, maybe even had the chance to leave everyone and just go do something for myself. 

But I don't. 

And I haven't. 

And I don't see it happening anytime soon. 

(And that's mostly okay, but right now I'm not so thrilled about it.)

Postpartum body

I don't want to say much on this. My body made another human being - and a super cute one at that! I was pretty okay with how I grew. I was definitely on the small side with how I carried her, plus I didn't gain lots of extra weight beyond the recommendations. 

Now baby is out and it's been a bit more of an adjustment. It could be the long recovery from surgery. It really did take almost six weeks before I felt like I could walk at my normal pace. It also left a scar - which isn't so bad, but how the muscles and skin sit around the scar bothers me sometimes. 

I fit into some of my old "fat" jeans! So I'm happy to be back to one of my old bodies, even if it wasn't my smallest or most favorite. I'm still fluffy even though I can button said pants. 

This week I've started working out! It's fun to sweat and move my body. I'm thrilled that I feel good enough to exercise and motivated to do so. I'm trying to remember to be patient with myself and focus on what matters most - my beautiful girl. I'm happy to sacrifice for her. And I'm happy to be able to balance both our needs. 

Grandma B

Not sure if I've made note of this, but Grandma B passed away suddenly in September. I do miss her. 

Today is her birthday! I never realized that she was born on the first day of spring, but how fitting. She loved nature and being close to the earth. She took pictures of lovely sunsets, kept flowers and a garden, and often talked of sleeping under the stars in her backyard. 

I want my kids to know that about their great grandma. Plus she introduced me to some fantastic literature. 

Stake conference

The stake president spoke briefly about the music of the gospel - how the way we live our lives can be evidence of the gospel acting within us. He mentioned many types of people as quiet examples of this - the woman with cancer who fed the presidency between meetings, the scout leader who prepares a lesson for his son each week. And then, in what I'm pretty positive was a nod to us, he mentioned the new parents who don't get much sleep. 

I had already been in and out with Elsie at least twice. For the cumulative hour I was able to sit and listen, I probably yawned about ten times. And then Dave took her out too to help her fall asleep. He was just walking in when President Watterson made the comment. I appreciated his words. It seems to me a recognition that of all the places we could be right then, both of us wanted to hear the words of the adult session of conference and brought Elsie along, no matter how much up and down, in and out that meant. 

She's usually quite easy for us but tonight was a bit harder and in public. But I'm glad we were there. I'm thankful for the music of the gospel in our little family.