Player or Playee?

So, at least once a week I play various games with some people in my ward, namely Rustin and his apartment. It is a great way to spend some time with other people, and the games we play are generally really fun: Bang!, Scum, Pirate's Dice, Guillotine, Hearts, Killer Bunnies, etc. Lately though, I've begun to wonder just what playing games has done to me.

It all started when I saw the Divine Comedy tech rehearsal. They did a skit called, "Things you should take more seriously," and focused on hanging out. Of course they exaggerated things, but essentially they showed that a girl should be coy and wait for the guy to say hi first, and that the girl who said hi to the guys first was invited over for games and became "one of the guys." I think I have gone from being a game-player at these events, to being a playee. I am their dependable go-to gal anytime they want to play games and need people. And I begin to sense that that is all I am good for with them. That's not to say that I don't like playing games or that I don't have fun with everyone..... but I think that at least one in that group could probably care less for me as a friend if I weren't always there to play games. And that's sad, because that's the one person who was my friend before the game tradition started. On the upside, I've made friends with the other occupants of 226 and a few other "regulars" that play. But the hot/cold treatment I get, and the jokes made at my expense, and the comments made towards me and my competitiveness or focus/lack of focus on the game aren't quite so fun after a while.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to complain, just trying to mull some thoughts that have been tumbling around lately. I still love playing games and don't really forsee an end to that. Hopefully I'm all wrong and he really does want ME to come play, not just another body to fill a seat. Guess we'll watch and see.

(This isn't supposed to be negative, and I'm still happy and doing great! Just sometimes you have to stop and look at what you're doing and what is happening around you.)