Culture makes life rich

It will likely surprise no one that I am a frequent reader and follower of things like the Smithsonian magazine online, with an occassional NY Times article thrown in for good measure. I have it on good authority (thanks, Patriarch), that knowledge makes me a more interesting person. Having heard similar things from many other sources, in addition to studying Humanities, I'm become something of a sponge or magnet for depictions of culture and history... and daily news. Don't worry, this one is about culture, which is almost always the most interesting topic of the three. 

I ran across this article about the Krampus, the counterpart to Saint Nicholas in several European countries. It is absolutely fascinating to me that this ancient tradition has hung on into modern days! I also think there's something to be said for the idea of dualism it promotes... things come in pairs to maintain balance and order. Here's a little snippet from the article to introduce you to the other side of Christmas creatures!

Krampus creatures roam the streets in search of naughty children to punish during Krampusnacht, November 30, 2013, in Neustift im Stubaital, Austria. Sixteen Krampus groups including over 200 Krampuses participated in the first annual Neustift event. Krampus has been a part of Central European, alpine folklore going back at least a millennium, and since the 17th-century Krampus traditionally accompanies St. Nicholas and angels on the evening of December 5 to visit households to reward children that have been good while reprimanding those who have not. However, in the last few decades Tyrol in particular has seen the founding of numerous village Krampus associations with up to 100 members each, who parade without St. Nicholas at Krampus events throughout November and early December.(Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

Home for the Holidays

Last Christmas I performed with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in their annual Christmas concert - as a dancer, of course! It was my second year doing the production, and I am so thrilled I was able to participate in it. The 2012 show featured Alfie Boe and Tom Brokaw, with a surprise special guest,  Gail "Hal" Halvorsen - also known as the Candy Bomber in WWII. They're very strict about sharing photos of guests, costumes, set, etc, so all the performers had to sign an agreement to keep photos off the mainstream until the DVD was released. 

Well, the DVD is out and another Christmas concert has filled the walls of the Conference  Center, so it's time to share what I was up to a year ago. Auditioning last year was an act of bravery as much as it was an act of desire - performing in that concert led me to meet someone who profoundly influenced my life, though not in the happiest of ways. Auditioning and performing again was my way of staring down fear and telling the world that I would not live in the shadows of what might be. No, I would perform no matter who might be there on the tech crew. And perform I did. 

Alfie Boe is an amazing talent, and so humble and generous! It was an honor to meet him and chat with him during the concert run. I also got to meet Richard Elliott, the wizard on the organ who charms audiences with his amazing skills and musical interpretation. He took up the organ as an adult and I really enjoyed hearing some of his story about learning and excelling at this instrument. The choir members, orchestra, fellow dancers, and bell ringers all made the show a success on stage and rewarding backstage. 

** Side note: I hear I am in the video again this year. I haven't seen it yet, but I plan to watch it and verify this. 
*Other side note: I really should touch up my hair more frequently. The whole dark roots with light hair looks less classy and more obvious than I realize. 

Erica does hip hop - MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Reminders

Several years ago, this talk came out in the Ensign: Continue in Patience . I'm pretty sure it was written just for me, especially at the time it came out. I think one of the biggest struggles I've encountered as an "older" single woman in the LDS culture is figuring out what to do with myself in these circumstances. I fully believe there is a segment of LDS women my age (+ 5 years/-3 years) who sort of slipped through the cracks. When we were in the Young Women's program, the culture was still marriage at a young age. I don't think anyone anticipated that times were changing and that fewer of us would achieve that "ideal." I often look back and it's so easy to see how unprepared I was for facing an alternate future. 

Figuring out what it means to be single in a culture that still promotes young marriage ages has been a rewarding challenge. I've had so many remarkable experiences that I likely would never have had if I'd gotten married younger. I don't regret the path my life has take, not one bit. 

That said, patience has never been my strongest suit. And learning what it means to be actively patient - aka, not just lolling around waiting for life to happen - was a huge lesson I had to learn. I remember when I read this talk, it finally started to make sense. I began to understand what I needed to do. 

I needed this talk today. Even now, patience is hard for me. This talk is priceless. Don't give up on yourself. Don't forget that the Lord is patient with you. 

To paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. Many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord. ¹⁴

I know this promise is true. The Lord has taken me out of horrible pits in the past and lifted me to solid places. It continues to take faith and patience as wonderful new experiences appear on the horizon. Even great blessings and opportunities push us out of our comfort zones. So thankful I found this talk today :) 

In Memorium... the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary

December 14, 2012 ...

Like most tragic and shocking events, the news of this elementary school shooting came by word of mouth. I was at work, thinking more of my performance that evening than anything else. I suppose we never really feel the full impact of these events unless we are personally tied to them. So many people experienced a tragedy that day that I can't even begin to comprehend. Despite being far from the events and the deep emotions of that day, I was profoundly touched that evening by what I consider to be the greatest tribute I've heard.  

That Friday evening, the official opening of the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas Concert 2012, Lloyd Newell began the evening with remarks on the tragic events of the day. We dancers were in our places in the aisles as the entire Conference Center bowed head and paused in a moment of silence for the victims and families. It was a somber beginning to the evening performance, though it didn't darken the mood. 

The day's events jumped poignantly to the forefront of the show, however, when Alfie Boe sang "Bring Him Home." I had heard the song several times before, between dress rehearsals and other shows. This time was different. In the musical Les Miserables, the song is often titled "The Prayer." When Alfie sang on Friday, December 14, 2012, it truly felt like a prayer for the beautiful children and teachers who had lost their lives. 

May our God always bring us home to Him. 

Happy and Healhty

It's been a lovely week so far! Busy beyond all belief, but lovely. I've had so many things come up that I want to blog about, but I thought I'd start with this short gem. (I think the days of me writing longer blog posts are waning.... short's the way to go it seems, if I want to fit it into my life anymore.)

I have a bad habit of checking Facebook in the morning at some point, whether it's before work or shortly after arriving. I feel somewhat justified in this currently because we have some online campaigns going that have a strong social media backing, so I like to keep tabs on how that's going. Speaking of, you should visit Children's Miracle Network and add a child to your holiday list this season. Help us count down to zero!

Anyways, the west and now the midwest have enjoyed a lovely arctic winter storm this week. So naturally, images and comments on Facebook relating to hot chocolate are more prevalent. We're not going to break above freezing for a week here -- who wouldn't want hot chocolate? Anyways, I'm scrolling down and read the following, one juxtaposed to the other. 

So how many of you have cracked open the hot cocoa?

We made Lettuce Wraps on Home & Family on Hallmark

Channel USA! #Yummo #HealthyEating -Nina

Somewhere between this pictures I think we get the explanation of how real life is different from media life. 

Bring on the chocolate!!

(P.F. Chang's, anyone?)

Rememory

Sometimes when my mind is staying occupied consistently with interesting or important data, it forgets little things... the precise word I'd like to use, a conversation I've had on a topic, an event that occurred in the past. Generally, I can eventually tap into those seemingly innocuous memories that are niggling to be recalled. Since the need for recall is often triggered by a current event, the memory becomes important and useful to the present time. 

For example, my back started hurting yesterday after work. I sit at a desk all day and hadn't done anything crazy or strenuous. I knew this happened around winter last year as well, but all last night I could not remember what on earth caused it to happen. All I know is I slept on a heating pad for the next several weeks.... months... yeah. 

Thank goodness I didn't completely neglect my blog last year, because the winter posts triggered that memory! I pulled my back last year while climbing over the seats in my brother's suburban while my mom was in town! This doesn't really help explain why my back all of a sudden has started hurting the same way again, but at least it finally came to me. I refuse to admit the temporary forgetting as a function of age; rather, it's an illustration of how occupied my mind is these days. 

Yep, we'll go with that! :)

I feel like I suppose I will just do that

My good friend Meridith recently shared a blog post that is a poem of thoughts generated by this nifty app, What Would I Say? I read a tiny bit of her poem, checked out the app, and am happy to present the following. I'm sure I'll find more to add....

P.S. - the title was generated from that app. I frequently use the words "think, though, feel, Thursday, dance" and various references to writing. Please enjoy!

Come, come for an intervention...

2nd place and gifts. It's safe to say my first time ever playing hide and seek with my current mobility...

. And senior citizens excluding dress I can make up late, hurrying out a frisbee!!

It just rattled my nerves, thank goodness

Oh baby, it

I'm pretty nervous about teaching, but excited to flood me

Blog post is the last day can look forward to visit home for eating, shopping, and quilting.

Friday night with my parents are supposed to see what a long, weddingly day!

oh, and did in the same time.

Only 1.5 weeks until Thanksgiving break, then about 2 weeks until Thanksgiving break, then one of my piano, my thesis feels better, though??

I think it

is, in transit, maybe next

It's starting a performing dance

Just because it's true, we can't all be ice cream taste testers.

I think Thursday night...

11 this field stop throwing things are doing a fundraiser, do it!

I think Thursday lunch should be about 100 pages.

I'm pretty nervous about ammonia sweat.

I think I'll be in the mountains!

In a castle window, not only did I can actually fit as well I'm pretty cool

Saturday cleaning it's been a teacher weeks TO get tickets soon

Maid to Match...

Education is happening!

Well I'm going to participate in another day wedged in the making!

.. I''ll probably be there to see myself dance

Let's hope is HARD!

wishes this paper books I added to apply to come visit you

Sadly, I cannot express the many of these Middle Eastern nations. Take a student anymore?

Lets do it, Meridith!

Hey, it's hard to get better than that, the first SLC

Experiences are the left one calls the hair crimp...

I think my body is telling me

Proof see my students' reactions when I come visit you

Hopefully that means lots of unemployment. If anyone know

I think it's hope?? Either way, I can make no mistake.

that is full of thoughts...

Home for her to pick one calls the blog.

measures success in Nashville and pray its own forming as well, baby steps I breathed too

Sean was an iPad for all night with hummus!

Finally saw yesterday is truly got to talk with my computer decided to become something great.

Rock on for the answer?” “I haven’t the action

Time to hit GOLD and found a blog with an impromptu road trip with two interviews already for next

This bike with Nathan Gunn and especially block quotes MLA.

I think it

I'm pretty nervous about 5 different area or divers...

Calling all Indian Food Lovers I have to do next

Anyone who thinks the peach jam!

Slightly more flexibility back, ravioli for a ton of it?

Any recommendations on what I'm quite possibly the floor is an entire book from 1913 that

The author had a big impact.

And my powerful right toes/foot.

I've got my ticket home and bushy tailed...

We need to do it, Meridith!

and that in a most colorful ankle.

Laptop is in a crazy idea...

Let's hope someone takes good to great

but allergies, couldn't jump to do everything else before the weekend here

And so worried anymore about Proust and doctoral programs.

the special tap number we did in the future

our own choreographies of all MY academic career

I think my body fat, can't wait to chop off to happiness?

Now if I may have never had something to do it

I think a date tonight, and I have to replicate this

figuring out more than that, the first time to start my new life adventure can move and get a picture with Nathan Gunn and Irish reel step!

It's starting to get tour pictures in between two days

The author had a wide open window so

but allergies, couldn't I wait for having a job?

All you guess that

As always, and Erin, I'll be far far far it

The author had a successful day of unemployment. If anyone wants to hang out, give out!

I think it's with trvel and life!

These are paper abstracts to submit...

I think I glow when I dance.

I think I just need the insider access ;

seriously, how do we should try it!

Anyone who has finally come by not going, these days

Time to start working on for the better understand dance, specifically Irish dance.

Performing tomorrow night all changed recently, and it

Thesis Proposal officially signed and I feel like Gulliver among the peach jam!

So we all that

Off to Greece and family from God bless us, every one!

and that will be said I had a very first opera with photoshop.

First time for some light discussion on hell houses, saussure's relationship to dance, 17th century gender structures, and castrati.

I think I'll be able to bed early tonight.

and that my speakers and the roof for sheer happiness!

I'm pretty painted wall, you'll see oodles of pictures in Nashville and the parable of me

And my first I can conquer the police, agents, military, and especially block quotes MLA.

Anyone who wishes and great

I'm pretty nervous about the sky!

Just because I can move again for a few days

Filming shouldn't be able to getting shot tonight!

Can't wait and inner tube up here

packing packing packing...

Coming soon be up fliers for his family, my new job in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Around

Tour is almost every square inch. And what a concert

finally had one time when I dance.

Need a man who believes absolutely positively DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy me to hear back... there's no place like a writingdesk?” “Have you

the special tap dance!!

I'll get together, yeah yeah yeah, we can have to Utah!

.... but I can just brought the bruises to the river today, particularly the concrete pillar that

This bike ride it, Meridith!

Two months till 430, but yes, we make up to do some work now, though...

my little brother is officially NOT sure how we had to read through it.

The author had some bad I couldn't I have winter clothes on.

Your uplifting comments have learned my lesson!

Lol just came running and see all the happy

Time to talk to get a future

I think so

Buy one of film history, theory, technique. The author had a maid who works out!!

Dude, and found a better way

Probably because your sidekick is coming to Provo this

It just came running across 3 am, bright eyed and I think.

I think I just have to change the mood of DANCE

Thank you should tune in sleep.

Seriously so in the countdown and survival has nothing to the owner tomorrow

I think using it

One book on Saturday may not the right one and we make two paper abstracts to know

and that I definitely recommend the show, not the windshield right?

How to actually have time to hurry home and Dancing masters and what to see/do while we're striving for more information about the opportunities I've gotten from all of a bigger SD card

I think I'm ready for editing. Thanks GoogleBooks for having another art high just the ...

Maybe next time I'm in the water.

read an umbrella, not my winter coat.

I've got mad skillz with books in one dream jobs to apply to!

now back with you once I get to Japan, though.

went to my bags and miscellaneous trash bag, but that's all my dance

Happy me at the waiting game like a whitetrash blonde, thanks for the Arts...

Also a plausible form of burning calories, in my 3rd interview with tap number we did in the job leads, please message me!

. fork and knife aren't for eating, they're for defense!!!

What fun is winter without a little guidance on my thesis rock on my awesome

not me. Oh yes I did!

Just not to bring the hammer?

Bathtub won't drain. Getting bored of living alone. Is the weekend with Amber!!

And so crazies couldn't jump to their quest for a place...

The cool dream about teaching, but I'm OUT of Cadbury Mini golf, and is supposed to the inside medial ankle???

Love is a giveaway…

Good thing about being a storm I may be the street!

Guess I'd need Captain America to come up by Colleen, of the last day of unemployment. If anyone want to get ready to Turkey!

Why do we Jimmer at BYU?

Really really tired of burning calories, in my pink coat with the weekend!

Sadly, I suppose I slept on earth thought you

who is winter without a little more hopeful!

Jumping for joy fill your day ahead of me

that is the best part of that

For the heat makes such an extra minute to start my blog?

Home for the big unpacking tomorrow!

Your uplifting comments have helped host the world!

had two cinnamon rolls and a Saturday lineup for fall housing in that

We seriously doubt I could use a few minutes ago

I feel like going?

You Venezuelans have to take running shoes with the upside, I have danced all night...

I've got one all on the upside, I have the Piano Guys rocked my world or not today.

Congrats Chad and Dancing masters and their contribution and origin. As one who may soon

I've got some accounts I really need any juice!

Instant recipe for sheer happiness!

Time to hit GOLD and they requested my resume!

Thanks to see Lincoln, see a break/fracture. I'll let you

Words cannot express the many emotions of burning calories, in the Assembly Hall during a wide open window so

And so far it's been thinking about trauma and hear a crazy sore!

Let me at ikea who helped host the road.

I feel about trauma and Irish dance.

has a sore shoulder, but I come to my family ever!

I feel about a job in May your new life calling all Indian Food Lovers I needed to run and his name is Carson and he's healthy and happy

The cool kids decided to show support I can't believe I never went well, so

Prob not tonight though...

I feel like I feel...

And so lucky and applied for two more specific questions!

Applied for HOURS last night foreign karaoke though...

One of the Colin Dunne Riverdance I can conquer the blisters I can use Dear HBLL online I love dancing!

Missouri is working on topics include Bollywood dance, perhaps Irish, and senior about paying for college?

Jumping for joy in seven days

You Venezuelans have got a linguistic approach to fit out again...

becomes Professor Burgin and life adventure can actually have to be gone. Today

I feel like I suppose I will just do that

Die Empty

"Alas for those that never sing, 

But die with all their music in them."  

- Oliver Wendell Holmes 

We received this book today at work from our Innovations team - aka, the big ideas team. Todd Henry, the author, spoke at Celebration about the need to live a full life... to explore and try every new idea that comes so that you can die knowing you lived. Really lived. I haven't started reading the book yet, but I'm already excited about the concept. I am a fan of pursuing possibilities and expanding them out. Arguably, it's how I've lived my life to this point. There's certainly more ground to cover, and I'm excited for those experiences as well. 

Dance at Raglan Road

So last week I was at Disney World for our company's annual Celebration. On Thursday night, we had dinner reservations to a lovely place called Raglan Road - and Irish pub-like restaurant. Most people eat appetizers before their meal. Me? I totally left my seat to watch the dancers entertain the crowd... not exactly anticipating that I'd get to be one of them! I was so excited I could only remember one of my soft shoe reel steps. But hey, it was AMAZING and the crowd seemed to like it too. Oh, and I'm wearing my neon socks. Yep, awesomeness!

Reading the blog

It started out with a question about my smile. I love my smile. It's grown from where it used to be in my teenage years.  It is slightly lopsided, and you can see at least one dimple 99% of the time. When I am sincerely really truly happy, I have two dimples. I love my smile. And my dimples. And the crinkly eyes that come with all of that. 

I used to be pretty smart and would post interesting things on my blog. Now that I'm less involved in school, that has declined a bit. I hope to improve on that. 

I still love basically the same things, and the same things make me happy. Family, friends, dance, my kindle, peanut butter cups, sunshine... I still love BYU football; if I'm cooking and trying new recipes I'm definitely in a good place in life, and when I enjoy the seasons I'm also doing really well. I'm happy to report that these subtle signs are occurring these days. 

I'm very blessed in how many cool places I've been able to travel to and visit. It's definitely not the normal flow of life for an average joe. Of course, my dance friends are not normal joes either, so it's easy to forget that we live quite cool lives. 

I do take some good pictures now and then. I've got a deal for a 20 page photo book... I'm thinking I'll do artistic highlight shots from my years on tour. And I may include other trips, in case I got some amazing shots other times. 

I loved the relief society broadcast tonight. I didn't love seeing the space where I used to dance and knowing I wasn't good enough, or at least wasn't politically connected enough to make the cut. I've never been on the right side of dance politics anywhere I've danced. 

I did not work out today. I did do some great house cleaning, though. I need a dentist and eye doctor ASAP. I want to hang art on my walls, and I need to eat two paintings mounted. And now I am tired and need to sleep. Oh, and my travel purse broke. MAJOR bummer. 

In the free time...

So, as you learned in my last post, I did not make it into a dance group that I was hoping to be in for Christmas. Ultimately, this is for the best, as my calling is  much more important, and being in this group would have filled the remainder of my week and made it impossible for me to fulfill my calling. While I still will miss performing in that show just a bit, I realized two important things today. 

1. I finally activated the gym membership I bought in April! In my defense, I severly sprained my ankle about 3 days after buying it, so it made absolutely no sense to redeem it earlier. But I'm excited to take a gym bag to work with me and stop there on my way home every day. I'm hoping it helps with my figure, but mostly my sleep. 

2. I have been cooking more than usual. This is kind of huge, because there was quite a while in college where I cooked and tried new recipes because I enjoyed it. I had a bad experience, though, when my cooking was arguably the only reason this guy was in a relationship with me. I mean, he made it a point to eat my homemade german chocolate cake right before he broke up with me. And after dating him I kind of lost the motivation to cook so much. I suppose you could argue that I suffered mostly from that one, but I also learned to hide my cooking skills under a bushel in new relationships. I couldn't say if I'm past that or not, but I'm really happy to be cooking more. It's one of those more subtle markers of me having some time and of being happy. 

Midnight Musings

I've often wondered what others see when they see me dance. Do I look goofy? Do I look elegant? Do I look like I'm embodying the dance I'm doing, or do I just look like a body doing a set of dictated movements? 

I've often wondered this, especially as I've gotten older and done so many different styles of dance. At some point in college I realized - quite vividly - that the dancer in my mind's eye is WAY better than the physical one I actually am in real life. I think I became resigned to that fact many years ago. And honestly, that's okay. I like to think it's my spirit dancing, and one day I'll have the body that won't limit all that glorious movement. 

As the years have progressed, I've become more limited. Time marches on, and the machine that is the body must be maintained more rigorously over time to keep all the range of motion and fluidity that once came so easily. No wonder professional dancers phase out young. I'm not even that good, but even I can recognize that there are natural limits, or at least increasing prices to pay to keep the limits at bay. 

As a senior in high school, I wrenched out my knee cap. Anyone who has had knee issues knows that knee cap problems are just as rough and painful as knee joint problems. It's never gone away. It doesn't have as much "spring" in it. It doesn't bend as far as I would like. And it tends to feel funky when it does. That injury happened ten years ago in October. 

I've rolled both ankles a few times, though surprisingly less than one might imagine for a dancer. In 2009 I turned my left ankle quite severely. I managed to hobble around, although I did go get x-rays. Then in May I sprained my right ankle. Very badly. All my grown up body weight landed on it, and only it, from a lift in the air. I couldn't walk for three days. It was swollen for almost two months. It still hurts on occasion, still is a bit more swollen than it should be, and still has some distinct reduction in range of motion. 

I miss being a whole, physically capable dancer. I suppose I could have always worked harder and maintained more of my ballet skills and flexibility, achieved greater precision and technique in my feet, and developed better stamina and stage presence. I feel like I've matured mentally and become a better and better dancer as I've aged, but in some respects I've lost ground too. I may be able to characterize and portray better,  but only so far as my increased physical limitations will allow. 

I realize I'm not some decrepit old lady. I realize that I still perform on a dance team and will most likely find many more ways to continue dancing. But today I found out I didn't make an audition, which in past years I have made. I know they are changing direction and drastically reducing their cast size from previous years. I know there is really no sane or healthy way that I could have done that, clogging, and fulfilled my calling without sacrificing something. Given some of my past struggles with maintaining a healthy lifestyle, it's surely for the best for me to have a little downtime. But then perhaps I hid those and you didn't know I had struggles. 

I love to dance. I'm sad tonight that a door is shut. I know many  more doors and windows will be open to me still. I want to dance forever. I've danced longer than many people, and I'm impressed with the women I dance with now who have been at it even longer than I have! Perhaps I will be like them, if I can get my aging brain to hang on to choreography like it used to. If I can get my body to do what it's supposed to. If I can have a stage to fill with beautiful movement, with lights and music. For the love of dance...

I want to be a part of it -- New York, New York

New York is a pretty exciting place! I think these pictures highlight my main emotions for our quick day trip into the Big Apple...

On the boardwalk in Atlantic City, life can be peaches and cream

Once upon a time, I traveled to Atlantic City for a business trip... to Miss America. Dena Blizzard, a former Miss New Jersey and host of the event, decided to skip the rest of prelims and the final show, crowning me the new Miss America! 

True story: this is the real crown that Miss America 2014 will be wearing on Sunday when she gets crowned. They have a practice crown too, but why wear that when you can wear the real one that sparkles? 

Tune in to ABC on Sunday to see if they have me pinch-hit as the winner, and to see the new commercial that CMN Hospitals is airing (since that's the real reason why I'm here). You won't regret it!

Labor Day

I'm still working on pics from tour, but here's some shots from the iPod to document September! 

I must say, I feel sadly that I don't post as often as I used to. Writing helps me make sense of my life, often times, and not keeping up to date on here bothers me. I suppose for a while I wasn't happy, but that ended months ago. I have new and exciting things happening, but I guess I'm just afraid of sharing? Lol I don't even know if that's true. Perhaps all my readers have left since I've been so long silent. I'm here. I'm living and learning and working hard to be the person I want to be.... And the person God wants me to become. 

Bring the happy

Usually dancing makes me happy, no matter what. Usually. I mean, how hard is it to get an endorphin high when you're doing what you love, wearing great costumes, and sporting awesome makeup?

 Of course, this wasn't my outfit tonight, but I still should have come away with a different feeling than I did. To be fair, it actually had nothing to do with dance. It has to do with friends and feelings. I'm not generally the most demonstrative or compelling person in a crowd. I tend to quietly observe when there are more dominant people-magnet personalities around. Sometimes I wish this weren't the case, but that is who I am. Occasionally, this leaves me feeling like I'm not exactly anyone's desired friend. (Already I know I should just change my attitude, because this line of reasoning isn't exactly accurate. One of my friends tonight was super happy to see me, and I her! She's the best.) so maybe I'm just jealous of people that have multiple close friends. Distance separates me from many of my best friends from college, and I'm slowly working to develop new relationships here in Salt Lake. It takes more time here. 

I don't want to be a whiner... I want to be a helper. If I can't be the most effervescent person, I can at least be the most kind, thoughtful, helpful, and caring person I can be. That attracts people as much as fun does.  It doesn't matter that I got shelved in the back row today when I could easily have resumed my old spot in the middle line...it matters that when the entire cast was standing awkwardly on stage, I started leading the figure that was supposed to happen next. And everyone joined and the awkward ended. Maybe the performance experience tonight made someone else's night amazing. I hope so... These are great groups this year! As for me, well... I'll pick myself up again tomorrow and press on in happy service and not worry about myself and my feelings of tonight. 

Has it only been two years?

Remember when this happened? 

Credit to Gammell Photography. I already bought a real pic, so all's well.

It's hard to believe that two years have already gone by since I finished my Master's program! Figuring out life and career post-school has been an adventure, to be sure, and an interesting one at that.