I feel like I suppose I will just do that

My good friend Meridith recently shared a blog post that is a poem of thoughts generated by this nifty app, What Would I Say? I read a tiny bit of her poem, checked out the app, and am happy to present the following. I'm sure I'll find more to add....

P.S. - the title was generated from that app. I frequently use the words "think, though, feel, Thursday, dance" and various references to writing. Please enjoy!

Come, come for an intervention...

2nd place and gifts. It's safe to say my first time ever playing hide and seek with my current mobility...

. And senior citizens excluding dress I can make up late, hurrying out a frisbee!!

It just rattled my nerves, thank goodness

Oh baby, it

I'm pretty nervous about teaching, but excited to flood me

Blog post is the last day can look forward to visit home for eating, shopping, and quilting.

Friday night with my parents are supposed to see what a long, weddingly day!

oh, and did in the same time.

Only 1.5 weeks until Thanksgiving break, then about 2 weeks until Thanksgiving break, then one of my piano, my thesis feels better, though??

I think it

is, in transit, maybe next

It's starting a performing dance

Just because it's true, we can't all be ice cream taste testers.

I think Thursday night...

11 this field stop throwing things are doing a fundraiser, do it!

I think Thursday lunch should be about 100 pages.

I'm pretty nervous about ammonia sweat.

I think I'll be in the mountains!

In a castle window, not only did I can actually fit as well I'm pretty cool

Saturday cleaning it's been a teacher weeks TO get tickets soon

Maid to Match...

Education is happening!

Well I'm going to participate in another day wedged in the making!

.. I''ll probably be there to see myself dance

Let's hope is HARD!

wishes this paper books I added to apply to come visit you

Sadly, I cannot express the many of these Middle Eastern nations. Take a student anymore?

Lets do it, Meridith!

Hey, it's hard to get better than that, the first SLC

Experiences are the left one calls the hair crimp...

I think my body is telling me

Proof see my students' reactions when I come visit you

Hopefully that means lots of unemployment. If anyone know

I think it's hope?? Either way, I can make no mistake.

that is full of thoughts...

Home for her to pick one calls the blog.

measures success in Nashville and pray its own forming as well, baby steps I breathed too

Sean was an iPad for all night with hummus!

Finally saw yesterday is truly got to talk with my computer decided to become something great.

Rock on for the answer?” “I haven’t the action

Time to hit GOLD and found a blog with an impromptu road trip with two interviews already for next

This bike with Nathan Gunn and especially block quotes MLA.

I think it

I'm pretty nervous about 5 different area or divers...

Calling all Indian Food Lovers I have to do next

Anyone who thinks the peach jam!

Slightly more flexibility back, ravioli for a ton of it?

Any recommendations on what I'm quite possibly the floor is an entire book from 1913 that

The author had a big impact.

And my powerful right toes/foot.

I've got my ticket home and bushy tailed...

We need to do it, Meridith!

and that in a most colorful ankle.

Laptop is in a crazy idea...

Let's hope someone takes good to great

but allergies, couldn't jump to do everything else before the weekend here

And so worried anymore about Proust and doctoral programs.

the special tap number we did in the future

our own choreographies of all MY academic career

I think my body fat, can't wait to chop off to happiness?

Now if I may have never had something to do it

I think a date tonight, and I have to replicate this

figuring out more than that, the first time to start my new life adventure can move and get a picture with Nathan Gunn and Irish reel step!

It's starting to get tour pictures in between two days

The author had a wide open window so

but allergies, couldn't I wait for having a job?

All you guess that

As always, and Erin, I'll be far far far it

The author had a successful day of unemployment. If anyone wants to hang out, give out!

I think it's with trvel and life!

These are paper abstracts to submit...

I think I glow when I dance.

I think I just need the insider access ;

seriously, how do we should try it!

Anyone who has finally come by not going, these days

Time to start working on for the better understand dance, specifically Irish dance.

Performing tomorrow night all changed recently, and it

Thesis Proposal officially signed and I feel like Gulliver among the peach jam!

So we all that

Off to Greece and family from God bless us, every one!

and that will be said I had a very first opera with photoshop.

First time for some light discussion on hell houses, saussure's relationship to dance, 17th century gender structures, and castrati.

I think I'll be able to bed early tonight.

and that my speakers and the roof for sheer happiness!

I'm pretty painted wall, you'll see oodles of pictures in Nashville and the parable of me

And my first I can conquer the police, agents, military, and especially block quotes MLA.

Anyone who wishes and great

I'm pretty nervous about the sky!

Just because I can move again for a few days

Filming shouldn't be able to getting shot tonight!

Can't wait and inner tube up here

packing packing packing...

Coming soon be up fliers for his family, my new job in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Around

Tour is almost every square inch. And what a concert

finally had one time when I dance.

Need a man who believes absolutely positively DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy me to hear back... there's no place like a writingdesk?” “Have you

the special tap dance!!

I'll get together, yeah yeah yeah, we can have to Utah!

.... but I can just brought the bruises to the river today, particularly the concrete pillar that

This bike ride it, Meridith!

Two months till 430, but yes, we make up to do some work now, though...

my little brother is officially NOT sure how we had to read through it.

The author had some bad I couldn't I have winter clothes on.

Your uplifting comments have learned my lesson!

Lol just came running and see all the happy

Time to talk to get a future

I think so

Buy one of film history, theory, technique. The author had a maid who works out!!

Dude, and found a better way

Probably because your sidekick is coming to Provo this

It just came running across 3 am, bright eyed and I think.

I think I just have to change the mood of DANCE

Thank you should tune in sleep.

Seriously so in the countdown and survival has nothing to the owner tomorrow

I think using it

One book on Saturday may not the right one and we make two paper abstracts to know

and that I definitely recommend the show, not the windshield right?

How to actually have time to hurry home and Dancing masters and what to see/do while we're striving for more information about the opportunities I've gotten from all of a bigger SD card

I think I'm ready for editing. Thanks GoogleBooks for having another art high just the ...

Maybe next time I'm in the water.

read an umbrella, not my winter coat.

I've got mad skillz with books in one dream jobs to apply to!

now back with you once I get to Japan, though.

went to my bags and miscellaneous trash bag, but that's all my dance

Happy me at the waiting game like a whitetrash blonde, thanks for the Arts...

Also a plausible form of burning calories, in my 3rd interview with tap number we did in the job leads, please message me!

. fork and knife aren't for eating, they're for defense!!!

What fun is winter without a little guidance on my thesis rock on my awesome

not me. Oh yes I did!

Just not to bring the hammer?

Bathtub won't drain. Getting bored of living alone. Is the weekend with Amber!!

And so crazies couldn't jump to their quest for a place...

The cool dream about teaching, but I'm OUT of Cadbury Mini golf, and is supposed to the inside medial ankle???

Love is a giveaway…

Good thing about being a storm I may be the street!

Guess I'd need Captain America to come up by Colleen, of the last day of unemployment. If anyone want to get ready to Turkey!

Why do we Jimmer at BYU?

Really really tired of burning calories, in my pink coat with the weekend!

Sadly, I suppose I slept on earth thought you

who is winter without a little more hopeful!

Jumping for joy fill your day ahead of me

that is the best part of that

For the heat makes such an extra minute to start my blog?

Home for the big unpacking tomorrow!

Your uplifting comments have helped host the world!

had two cinnamon rolls and a Saturday lineup for fall housing in that

We seriously doubt I could use a few minutes ago

I feel like going?

You Venezuelans have to take running shoes with the upside, I have danced all night...

I've got one all on the upside, I have the Piano Guys rocked my world or not today.

Congrats Chad and Dancing masters and their contribution and origin. As one who may soon

I've got some accounts I really need any juice!

Instant recipe for sheer happiness!

Time to hit GOLD and they requested my resume!

Thanks to see Lincoln, see a break/fracture. I'll let you

Words cannot express the many emotions of burning calories, in the Assembly Hall during a wide open window so

And so far it's been thinking about trauma and hear a crazy sore!

Let me at ikea who helped host the road.

I feel about trauma and Irish dance.

has a sore shoulder, but I come to my family ever!

I feel about a job in May your new life calling all Indian Food Lovers I needed to run and his name is Carson and he's healthy and happy

The cool kids decided to show support I can't believe I never went well, so

Prob not tonight though...

I feel like I feel...

And so lucky and applied for two more specific questions!

Applied for HOURS last night foreign karaoke though...

One of the Colin Dunne Riverdance I can conquer the blisters I can use Dear HBLL online I love dancing!

Missouri is working on topics include Bollywood dance, perhaps Irish, and senior about paying for college?

Jumping for joy in seven days

You Venezuelans have got a linguistic approach to fit out again...

becomes Professor Burgin and life adventure can actually have to be gone. Today

I feel like I suppose I will just do that

Academic Chops

I decided to enter my thoughts into the HERA (Humanities) Conference for 2013. Why?? I don't know. I guess because parts of me miss academia and I knew my prior research fit will with the topic of sacred site/secular spaces. I may or may not be accepted... I'm sure they give precedent to actual scholars in school. And with the fee's I'd pay as a non-student... not sure I'd accept the invitation. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Here is my conference proposal. 

Ancient and Present Rhythms in Tap and Irish Step Dance

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. The body lives in a steady beat, drummed daily by the heart. It moves in rhythmic cycles, regulated by the beat and rhythm of nature. Humans have historically moved and been moved by the rhythms of the world. Urges to replicate, manipulate, and appreciate those natural cadences resulted in some of the greatest, most innovative works of art. Dance places rhythm and time at the forefront of its creations; the now mundane pulse of life becomes beautiful once again through dance’s interpretations. American tap and Irish step dance epitomize the expression of sacred rhythms in secular spaces, drawing on a heritage steeped in spiritual roots and thriving in the material world of entertainment.

The percussive dance stylings of tap and Irish step dance offer a rich comparison of how acoustic space can be utilized to shape histories. Shelley Berg notes the link forged between past and present through dance performance, stating, “[t]he past is shaped by the present and the present is reshaped by the past. At any given instant, we both live history and live in history” (225). Performers presenting tap or Irish dance simultaneously express the present – the rhythmic expressions created in the moment and existing in real time – while conjuring images of the past. For both forms, the sound expresses a much older beat, born of deeply ancient heritages. Tap and Irish dance use complex rhythms that evoke powerful cadences from the past, made relevant through present-ing. 

Momentous Moments

First, I have to announce that in two months from today, I will be Mrs. Erica B. Gonzalez!! June 15th keeps inching closer and closer, despite all of life's attempts to make it seem far away. WOW! That's super exciting and I'm glad we still have some time to plan and get things finished up. In all honesty, most of the wedding things are taken care of... at least the major ones. Announcements are in progress of being designed, we've found an apartment, the honeymoon is coming together (from what I'm allowed to know about it) and soon it will all be happening. The best part of being engaged? Realizing ever so slowly just how much Joan loves me by all the small things (and big things) he does just for my happiness. 


Second, I now have over 300 blog posts. I love writing!!


Third, I think Spring Break really worked for me. I had gotten really run down emotionally with work, and even spiritually too. (And physically.) It was so wonderful to sleep in! To stay up late reading a book! The days were still rather stressful, particularly with searching for an apartment. I have driven so much in the past week, it is nuts! Today was very rewarding though. Joan came to church with me, which was fantastic, and several of the talks and lessons touched on happiness. It's been a difficult winter for me to maintain a healthy emotional balance. Of course I've been thrilled with many aspects of my life, but others have been so opposite in the other direction that... it's been a challenge. Today though, I feel like I am back in charge of my life and my happiness. Some days will still be hard, I know. Some days I might not remember that I am in charge of my happiness and my attitude. But I will do my best to remember!


There is so much in the world for us all if we only have the eyes to see it, and the heart to love it, and the hand to gather it to ourselves.

Lucy Maud Montgomery (1874-1942)

Night In - Soliloquy

A man dies as often as he loses his friends.

Francis Bacon(1561-1626)

I've gotten to do plenty of thinking lately... thinking about choices I've made in life. How the outcomes work themselves into intriguing shapes and important lessons. For example: I'm dancing at the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas Concert this year. I randomly saw an audition posting in September and decided to give it a shot, not having a clue where I would really be come December. (I did figure that I'd still be in Utah.) It went great! I made it, got to add some rehearsals to my weeks, and started meeting people in the area. It's been a very rewarding experience so far, even if it makes for extremely long days now that I have a job. That was a good choice. Even more interesting to me, though, is the choice my mom made about 21 years ago. She put me in my first ballet class. Over two decades later, I've danced all over the world in all sorts of venues doing all types of dance. In a few weeks I will add to my resume the massively huge Conference Center, where I will end up dead front and center in front of everyone.
Wow. I'm glad I had Folk Dance and the Marriott Center performances to prep me for big audiences. And to teach me to perform to the top row in the way back, not the illustrious figures in the front rows. It's the ones in the back that really deserve your absolute best: it takes the most effort to get your energy to reach all the way to them. 

An interesting tangent to that thought and my staging (which was mostly a happenstance thing) is that the girls dancing around me are several years younger than me. As in, I've danced longer than they have been alive and breathing on this beautiful earth. Sure, they started dancing at age 3. But I was dancing before they even made it through the veil. Sometimes I truly relish those thoughts, acknowledging the dedication and work that has gone into my dancing. A lot of those choices have been mine. But I'm forever indebted to my mom for making the first brilliant decision that started my feet dancing. 

Well, I've definitely strayed from the original quote by Sir Francis Bacon. But I wanted to do a positive thought first. His quote points out the importance of friends in ones life. Having moved recently in a bigger way than the past 7 years of moving, I have become acutely aware of the dynamics of friendships. They truly do so much in making a place feel like a home. In making life feel full. In promoting mental and emotional stability. Looking back over my college years, there are thankfully few times that I can say I literally "lost" friends. There was one watershed event before my senior year that did a lot towards unearthing those who were my real friends and those who were acquaintances. That was a rough time. But other than that, I have been blessed to have many wonderful friendships grow and develop. A lot of them I left in Provo when I moved away. And it's just not the same in Salt Lake. Probably the biggest reason is because I'm not in school anymore, which significantly changes the social dynamics. I've wondered lately if I really made the right choice in leaving Provo. I think I did need a break, but sometimes I very much miss my dear friends there. 

I sometimes wonder if I made the best choice when I decided to be a 1st grade teacher. Well, not that I even decided! I merely accepted the offer that was almost thrust upon me. Is it going to be a fulfilling career? It's definitely not one where I'll make major social connections and potentially find a spouse. (Not that marriage should be a consideration in work, but I work, yet again, primarily with females. That's all I'm saying.) I often feel like I have to verbalize my significance, qualify the statement that I teach 1st grade, as if that makes me not good enough. Who gets a Masters in Humanities to teach 6 year olds?? I always felt like being a teacher was more of a calling than a career and I admired those who went into that profession. But I just don't see myself as being all that special now that it's me being the teacher. 

I sometimes wonder if it was even right to move out of my grandparents' basement! I truly enjoyed living with them. I talked to them more than I talk to my roommates now, probably. It felt so homey with them. The spirit was always present, and when that's in a home it makes it extremely comforting. Most places I've lived I've felt the spirit there, but it's different when you're with a married couple. Visiting married friends, family of course... it seems more tangible. Probably because the household is extremely united, not a temporary fixture of disparate parts. (I know, waxing loquacious here with big words.) As long as my room feels comfortable, I know I'm doing what I need to to have a spiritual tone. But it's so much nicer when it pervades the house. I feel like I should have done more to show my grandparents how much I appreciated living with them. I left while they were out of town and then I was very busy getting re-settled and with school.... 

Well, you can't live a life of regrets. That's not living at all. I'm not sure where these choices will lead me: leaving Provo, being an elementary school teacher, moving out with roommates again. Moving to south Salt Lake rather than downtown like I had envisioned. Changing wards right when I had started getting into my last one. Moving away from an area where some boys were interested in me. I'm not sure if it was me or the new location that deterred them so efficiently. Now I wonder again if I'll ever meet anyone that fits the basic bill, let alone could be considered "great." The older I get, the more I realize that the great guys figured out they should marry a few years ago. The ones that are left.... in fairness some great guys exist in the older ages. But they are a rare find. It's like panning for gold in a river full of pyrite. 

Well, I meant to post pictures of the furniture I built. But apparently I needed to type. I miss writing papers. I miss typing words and saying important things for people to care about. Granted, only my teachers really cared about those essays, but... it was something. It was intellectual. And I really enjoy typing. And writing. Expressing myself through the written word and being intelligent in the process. I was one of those students that generally enjoyed writing research papers. I don't think I'll ever want to stop learning more. 

I do imagine though, dear reader, that you are ready to stop reading. I'm sure this is quite lengthy by now, and it really is just my own personal musings. I suppose I'll stop there and get ready for my big long day of rehearsals tomorrow. It starts at 8:30am and probably won't end until 11-12 hours later. And at least 6-8 of those hours will be full-on dancing. I think I'll pull a bath-n-book tonight to help prepare. Sleep might be more useful, but it's less of a sensory experience; and while my body may be tired, my brain is quite awake still. 

And there you have it. You made it to the end!! 

Not blogging

I'm fairly certain that it's a good thing I haven't finished the last blog post I was working on. It makes me feel like I can't write more until I complete it. Obviously not stopping me right now but...  It's going to be a really awesome treatment of modern Halloween and its connection to the beginnings of opera in Venice around the 1500's. And Carnival. I promise that it makes total sense... or it will once I get my thoughts finished. I started it on Friday after finishing teaching and I guess all those 6 yr olds just drained my mental faculties enough that I couldn't finish. But it really is a great concept, and I know you're all dying to read it. 


If I were to waste time tonight and blog when I should finish my other, more educated and enlightening post, I might comment on how I am legitimately starting to like my job. I might also comment on how many dates I've gone on lately, and how surprising most of them have been. I could add a sidenote about how I really am an intellectual snob (of sorts) and that I don't think I will ever change that for dating purposes. Nope. I'm 25 and have a master's degree. What have you done? Hint: if you're male and over the age of 26, the answer should be along the lines of "I graduated with a bachelor's and am interested in furthering my career/education."  I might also share a personal anecdote of how I felt like the 5 foolish virgins the other day when I went to the temple, but you'll have to ask me in person to see if I'll tell you that one. I might also mention that I'm moving to a new area (Cottonwood Heights/Fort Union) and how most days I'm fairly convinced I will not marry for.... well a long time at the very least. It's that last part that I'm trying not to blog about. People like positivity, and while I'm not upset about that sense I have, it's not exactly a rainbow and ponies statement. 


And that's what I might blog about, if I had finished that last amazingly intelligent and erudite treatise on Halloween. Which I haven't. Which is why I'm not blogging tonight.