I am so blessed. I have wonderful friends who help me so much. This past week was hard, really hard. I felt so depressed, and then realizing I was depressed made me even more depressed.... vicious cycle. My less-than-stellar mood made me a less-than-stellar babysitter and I felt bad about getting frustrated, then sad about being single... anyways, the point is that it was shaping up to be a sad weekend. And then, two of my friends invited me over to have dinner and games with them... and I was able to bring along another friend with me! Thanks Amy, Colin, and Kellianne for an amazing Friday! We had such a fun time catching up, eating delicious food cooked by the Slades, playing Cucumber, and watching folk dance clips. It was such a good night that no one seemed to want it to end, even though we all were getting so tired after midnight passed by.
Then came Saturday. It started off not so fabulously... I wasn't feeling super duper, but mostly I just didn't feel like doing anything, so I bailed on watching the BYU game with a friend and stayed home, thinking I got the channel it was on. I didn't. However, I used the time to work on some grading and thesis "busy-work," so I made the afternoon work for me anyways. That night made up for the day, though, because I got to meet up with Ananda and go dancing. Every now and then we throw a variety of dance shoes into our bags and meet up to mess around in the studio. Last night was probably one of our more successful ventures: Ananda taught me part of set dance (hornpipe, with back trebles), we did some rhythm work together, contemporary, cardio, and yoga. My favorite was the contemporary.
Because my dance styles of late have been focused on footwork execution, I haven't done as much emotive dancing, dancing where your soul moves your body. Even the times lately when I try at contemporary style, I usually feel like a dork more than anything. But last night, my soul danced. Ananda put on the song "Restless" by Audrey Assad, and as I danced, I felt like it actually meant something... to be moving and telling my story. I almost started crying a few time, it was so transcendent.
To cap that off, we had stake conference today. I don't know that the talks were particularly amazing, and to be honest the hard metal chairs were far less than comfortable. Yet something good settled back in me, pushing the darkness away. I wish I knew what it would take to keep things that way, but I'll just pray that it lasts longer this time. And in the meantime, I'm ever so thankful for wonderful friends who lift me up.
Then came Saturday. It started off not so fabulously... I wasn't feeling super duper, but mostly I just didn't feel like doing anything, so I bailed on watching the BYU game with a friend and stayed home, thinking I got the channel it was on. I didn't. However, I used the time to work on some grading and thesis "busy-work," so I made the afternoon work for me anyways. That night made up for the day, though, because I got to meet up with Ananda and go dancing. Every now and then we throw a variety of dance shoes into our bags and meet up to mess around in the studio. Last night was probably one of our more successful ventures: Ananda taught me part of set dance (hornpipe, with back trebles), we did some rhythm work together, contemporary, cardio, and yoga. My favorite was the contemporary.
Because my dance styles of late have been focused on footwork execution, I haven't done as much emotive dancing, dancing where your soul moves your body. Even the times lately when I try at contemporary style, I usually feel like a dork more than anything. But last night, my soul danced. Ananda put on the song "Restless" by Audrey Assad, and as I danced, I felt like it actually meant something... to be moving and telling my story. I almost started crying a few time, it was so transcendent.
To cap that off, we had stake conference today. I don't know that the talks were particularly amazing, and to be honest the hard metal chairs were far less than comfortable. Yet something good settled back in me, pushing the darkness away. I wish I knew what it would take to keep things that way, but I'll just pray that it lasts longer this time. And in the meantime, I'm ever so thankful for wonderful friends who lift me up.
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