Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sleepless in May

I've slept less than 5 hours in the last 36. I've been working hard on my thesis and am seriously worried/stressed about my chapter three, even though it's actually coming together more than my chapter two right now. I suppose I'll panic once I copy and paste and redo headings, but at least I'm writing. 


Almost a year ago, I had my heart broken and consequently met someone who would definitely change my life. I'm a whole new person from who I was then, and thank heaven for that. Literally. But, if you do still blog stalk me (which would be weird, what's your problem? Get over me!) then please know that I think you're a sham. A fake. A poser. One who can is great at presenting the "networking" image, but who I wouldn't trust with anything more than superficiality. Because, all things considered, that's where your level is, or at least was. You want certain things from life and relationships, and while I trust you'll create your ideal life (nice car, nice TV, nice stuff), I only hope that you manage to find what you want in a relationship. I feel like I've met many guys, not just you, who say they want this amazing accomplished woman, when, in reality, you can't handle it. That's right. I'm just too darned accomplished and independent and you're so competitive and proud that you just can't get past the fact that I am, in fact, amazing. Don't get me wrong - everyone deserves to find someone they can love and connect with, and I hope you do. But right now, I'm going to let that last drop of vitriol roll off my back. 


Wow, I'm out of things to say. And I feel good about that. For everyone that may or may not often read my blog, sorry for the massive spew session. Please see paragraph one for a small explanation of my mental state. Also, I don't usually obsess over this. I got over it a while ago... mostly. They say you never fully get over someone until the next one comes along. Either way, I myself am happy and doing great, and look forward to not being stressed by my thesis and finding new adventures in the coming months. I do feel the need to apologize because this post ain't my pretty side, not by a longshot. But I'm human. And seriously, blog stalking me after you broke up with me to see what if I would publicly declaim you?? I guess I have to give you props for being gutsy enough to tell me to my face that you did it and were "impressed" with how I was handling things. What a trollop. You knew nothing about me if you thought I'd do that. And now, here I have! Irony.... 


Friends, I promise to be more uplifting in my next post. And now I shall sleep. 

3 comments:

Hillary said...

haha!!! I LOVE IT! Sometimes it just feels so good to spew things. :)

So, Er... I'm in Utah (Orem actually) and would love to see you! you're still here right? Shoot me an email sometime... we must get together. :)

Colin said...

you are, in fact, amazing. don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise. and if they do, they're so not worth your time.

Jackie said...

AMEN. Don't ever apologize for knowing your true worth. Good luck on the rest of your thesis. Miss you.

Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith. ~ President Thomas S. Monson